Only Mine

5

         

Fortunately, the next day was Saturday and I was grateful for a chance to sleep-in. We were meeting at my mum's place for lunch. I've always loved lunch dates at my mum's on the weekends when we all got a chance to catch-up and chat away the afternoon since our working schedules were crazy during the week.
Becca and Brian were coming and Mike was joining us after finishing the lunch with his dad.

Of course, I got interrogated by the happy couple about the Jake-situation as soon as I sat at the table. I was trying to avoid thinking about him the whole morning, but now there was no escaping it. I mumbled a shorter version of our first meeting but leaving out the party encounter.

Brian mentioned Jake left the party in a weird mood, which gave me a momentary satisfaction, but when he added that Serena surely improved his foul mood later, my short-lived good mood quickly faded.

I smiled, but somehow the insinuation didn't sit right with me. Some nagging voice in the back of my head was trying to suggest I was the one who wanted to make him feel good. Oh god, I'm in a bigger trouble than I thought.

I still felt hot when remembering the words we exchanged yesterday, and don't get me started on how deliciously he smelled; I just wanted to snuggle in the crook of his neck and lick him all the way down to his toned chest.

I had to keep reminding myself how big of a player he is in order to keep my fantasies at bay. Honestly, the guy obviously has issues with being faithful – who comes to a party with one woman and then openly flirts with another? The situation reminds me too much of Scott and that just leaves a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth.

The rest of the lunch remained relaxed, not mentioning the particular person again and I was finally feeling peaceful after a long week I had. We drank coffee after lunch and ate my mum's best apple pie in the whole world while chatting about everything and nothing at the same time.

The wedding was coming up in four months and there was a ton of things left to be done, a lot of them falling on me since I was the maid of honour. But no matter my busy schedule, I was going to make sure my sister gets the wedding she has always dreamt about, even if it means tolerating the obnoxious best man for the next few months.

I left with Mike at around five o'clock, successfully avoiding any further interrogation from Becca about what happened at the party. I knew I won't be able to hide it from her for long, but today was really not the day I wanted to talk about it.

Mike went home and I decided to take a stroll down O'Connell Street with another coffee shot from Starbucks while enjoying the crowd around me. I loved feeling the city vibe, see people rushing here and there, cars passing by and tourist buses calling for potential customers.

I always felt like I'm two people trapped in the same body; my personality was contradicting itself constantly. I was a big fan of rock bands, but classical music was a balm for my soul. I was extremely organized in my workspace, but my private life was a constant mess. I always craved all the fuss of a big city, but at the same time enjoyed and needed my alone time more often than not. And this was definitely one of those days.

My mind was jumping from one topic to another while walking down the busy street – from my studies (since I was only a few months away from graduating) to my family and friends, who drove me crazy as much as they made me feel loved. My dad was not in the picture since my mum divorced him and I think we were always better off this way.

However, there are always certain consequences a child with divorced parents goes through. There is no mystery about me looking for a guy that wouldn't be afraid to handle me, but would still be a safe constant in my life. I craved a male figure in my life.