Never Again

Chapter 54: Realisation

Hi guys, this chapter is mostly from Seb's POV. I hope it'll finally clear some things up and you'll understand both sides of the story. The chapter is a bit longer than usual, but there was just so much I wanted to put in. I hope you like it and I would love to hear your feedback! :)

Seb was following Keira through the masses of people, but she was too quick. Before he knew it she had escaped from his eyesight and he was left scanning the room in a desperate attempt to find that reddish hair somewhere in the crowd. Unfortunately she was nowhere to be seen and he considered for a moment if he should ask people if they had seen her, but he quickly shoved aside that stupid idea. The only thing he could think of where she would have gone to was outside, but maybe she had already gone somewhere else. Not knowing what else to do he made his way to the exit, trying not to get any attention on himself. He was in no mood to deal with fans asking for photos or autographs at the moment, so he kept his head down.

Despite the high consumption of alcohol Kimi had been able to get into him, he had considerably sobered up after what had happened with Keira. The one moment they had somehow ended up on the ground with their bodies together and the other moment she was yelling things that didn't make sense at all, before shouting at him and running away. He had been completely taken aback by what she had shouted at him, he had felt the blood escape from his face as a result. She knew about Hanna, she knew he had hidden Hanna from her. At that point he knew he had totally screwed up and that he should have broken it off with Hanna way sooner.

After last race he had sat down with Hanna to discuss their relationship, he had dreaded the conversation because he had felt awful for what he had done, he still did. When he had found the courage he had gone as far as to tell her that he had met a girl that brought out the best part of himself, that he dreamt about at night, that he spent as much time with as possible and that he had tried his best to ignore those feelings. After a short silence he had continued and had told her that despite his best efforts he had ended up kissing her. Hanna had looked down at her hands and he had been sure that she was going to cry. He definitely hadn't expected her to raise her head and directly look into his eyes while saying that she herself had some things she wanted to get off her chest. She then had confessed that she had made some mistakes too, even bigger mistakes than he had done according to her. He immediately had known he couldn't be angry with her, but it still had hurt to hear that she too hadn't been honest about their relationship.

Hanna had looked anxiously at him for a moment and then had told him there had been someone else for a while now. She had struggled to find a moment to confess that to him, because she hadn't want to distract him from his championship fight. He had sighed, because Hanna was always this sweet, but at the same time he had also been relieved that she had found someone else. Not only because he could feel a lot less guilty, but more the fact that there was someone else who could fulfil her needs better than he could ever do himself being away most of the time. She deserved someone who was at home with her, because that's what she liked most, someone she could depend on every day and build up a steady life. Hanna had never said it to him, but he knew she hated that he was always somewhere around the world instead of at home.

In the end they had ended up spending the entire evening talking. After a few glasses of wine Hanna had been ready to confess to him what she had been up to when he had been away at race weekends. It turned out she often had spent these days with a guy she had met during a night out with her friends, Peter was his name. She had tried not to like him, just like he had done with Keira, but you can't stop feeling what you feel. She had spent the days and some nights at his house, there where she wouldn't be alone and it had became clear to Seb that Hanna had even gone further than he had ever dared to with someone else. It seemed like she already was in a new relationship and he couldn't even blame her for that, their lives had gone into such opposite directions because of his racing.