Kiana and The Boys

Chapter 13

~not edited~

I sat on my bed, going over my conversation with Nathan again and again. I suddenly started to feel horribly homesick. I pulled out a large photo album/scrapbook from under my bed, Josie had made me before I'd left. I wondered how my house was, how my parents and grandparents were doing, how Josie was doing.

I flipped over to a page near the middle. I picture of Josie and I hugging each other and laughing. Josie had wrote in red pen 'no boy can come between us' and drawn a heart around the quote. A warm salty tear trickled down my cheek, as I thought about the meaning behind it. Alex. He had hurt me in so many ways.

Before I knew it, my eyes were pouring tears out like Niagara Falls. Everyone was out so I wasn't bothered about being loud. I sobbed and wept about this useless excuse for a human.

My door, slowly pushed open and Josh, stepped inside. "Kiana, what's up?" He whispered.

Tears carried on streaming out of my eyes, "nothing I'm fine," I replied.

Josh ignored my comment and walked over to my bed and sat on it. "Come here," he said pulling me into him. I don't know why, but I obliged. I buried my head deep into his chest and allowed my tears to flow out.

Someone once told me that a guy's chest is a girls comfort zone. It's a warm feeling when a girl is resting her head on a guy's chest. It's not lust or anything like that, it's just a way to comfort her.

That was what I was feeling when I was leaning on Josh. It was a good feeling. I don't understand how a guy like Josh could give me such a warm feeling. But then again, I think any guy in Josh's spot could have given me that feeling just because I was so vulnerable and broken.

"Are you done soaking my tee?" He murmured into my ear.

I inhaled softly and closed my eyes. I had been crying for God knows how long and after I was done crying I didn't really know what to do next. I felt unbelievably embarrassed for crying in front of Josh again. In the past, I had cried so many times, but I was alone. I didn't tell any of my friends because I didn't want to let them know how foolish and heartbroken I was. I'd cry myself to sleep, but then go to school and laugh and be happy and no one would ever know. The only person who knew was Josie, she was everything I could have wished for in a best friend, only I still felt alone because I didn't want her to see me cry. So I let it all out a night. I could wake up in the middle of the night, crying from a nightmare. Watching it all happen again.

"Sorry," I whispered, pulling myself up.

"For what?" He asked amusingly.

"You know what," I muttered bashfully. I turned away and let my hair cover my face.

Ignoring the fact that I didn't want to be seen, Josh held onto my shoulders and brought me closer to him. "Are you sure you're okay now?"

"Yeah," I murmured quietly. Even if I wanted to cry I couldn't. I was completely emotionally drained from all of this and my body was totally dehydrated from crying. Even my eyes were burning from all the crying. My eyes suddenly felt the desperate need to fall. As if my body was say, you have suffered enough for one day. Time to shut down. That's how I'd always pictured it after crying, because I always felt tired. Is just me who feels like this.

"So, do you wanna talk about it?" He asked.

My face drained of colour and I broke my eye contact with Josh. "No. No I don't want to talk about it."

I don't ever want to talk about it.

It had caused me too much pain.

"Why not?" Josh asked, gently stoking my hair.