Someone Like You

Chapter Thirty-eight

It has been a week since the 'revelation day' happened and since then, I was not myself. I was not able to look at my parents in the eyes. I can't even have a normal conversation with them. I was always spacing out thinking about what Alexander told me.

I want to tell my parents about the whole thing and ask them if it's true but I can't find the strength to do so. I've been denying it that's why I'm scared that Alexander is right. I'm scared to hear it from their mouths.

The whole situation is killing me and I want to end it as soon as possible, and I know exactly is who the person who could help me with this.

I take a deep breath as I lean my head back to the head rest. It's already been two hours of straight driving and all I could see is the endless road. It's a good thing that this car's seat is extremely comfortable.

I look at Alexander, who is driving silently while looking seriously on the road. It has already been two hours that were alone in his car but we haven't exchanged words yet. It's just me, Alexander and this awkward silence.

Yesterday, I woke up and decided that I had enough and that I can't take it anymore. Even though it is so damn hard for me to be with Alexander, I contacted him and told him that I want to go to the orphanage he was talking about and see for myself if he was telling the truth.

That explains why I am currently inside his car, breathing the same air as him as we travel down this endless road.

"Do you like what you see?" He says teasingly.

I roll my eyes at him. I have not realized but I was staring at him. "Are we near?" I ask.

I hear him chuckle. "Nope. We're still quite far."

I nod.

Silence once again takes over. It is extremely awkward. I want to say something but don't know exactly what. Should I say 'How are you?' Nah. That would sound weird.

I stay still looking outside the window instead. There's nothing nice to adore to what I'm looking at but it's better than looking at Alexander.

A soft melody fills the whole car. Stephen Speaks, passenger's seat is playing over the car's speakers.

I eye him meaningfully.

He smiles and shrugs as our eyes meet. "I can't stand the silence." He says with a smile before looking at the road again.

I smile, unconsciously. I lean my head on the head rest and close my eyes. We both know that this is going to be hard for us but still, he's there to help me. I just wonder, what would he get in helping me? 'Nothing!' I hear a voice at the back of my head.

That I've got all that I need

Right here in the passenger seat

Oh, and I can't keep my eyes on the road

Knowing that she's inches from me.

That I've got all that I need

Right here in the passenger seat

Oh, and I can't keep my eyes on the road

Knowing that she's inches from me.

I smile as I silently sing the lyrics of the song.

* * *

Soft brushes on my cheeks wake me up. As I open my eyes, Alexander's fingers are on my cheeks. He looks surprise for a second then recovers quickly. He smiles and put his hands on his side.

"Where are we?" I ask as I realize that we are not moving. In fact, we're in a parking lot. "We arrived?"

"Nope. We're still far actually. It's already twelve noon and we need to eat. I'm starving." He unbuckles his seat belt and get out of the car. He moves around and opens my door. "Let's go." He says with a sweet smile.

I don't say anything and just get out of the car.

"This way ma'am." He says playfully as he leads the way. I silently follow him. Maybe it's because I just woke up, that's why I am not in the mood to say something. He leads me to a table for two inside a cozy restaurant. The place smells like chicken barbecue that makes my stomach growl.

"I'll have your chicken barbecue and bottomless iced tea, please." He tells the waiter. "What do you want?" He asks me as he closes the menu.

"I'll have your vegetable salad please." I tell the waiter, standing beside me.

"What?" Alexander exclaims.

"What?" I ask confusedly.

"You're only getting vegetable salad for lunch?"

"Yes. What's wrong with that?"

"N-nothing. This place is famous for their chicken barbecue, you should try it. It tastes amazing!"

I roll my eyes on him. "I just want vegetable salad, okay? I'm in a diet."

He says nothing and looks at me confusedly.

"Your drinks ma'am?" The waiter asks.

"Just water, please." I answer him with a smile and glance at Alexander. "No ice."

"Okay. Thank you sir, ma'am" The waiter goes off to get out order.

Alexander stares at me with a weird look on his face.

"What?" I snap.

"Why are you dieting? Are you joining another pageant?"

"No." I answer dryly.

"Then you should eat more. You've lost a lot of weights already. Do you have an eating disorder or something?" He chuckles.

I say nothing but smirk in response. I don't want to open my mouth because I might say something foul. I should contain myself as much as possible. I look away and to the beautiful garden of the restaurant.

"No, seriously, I insist, you should get real foods."

"No. I'm good." I reply.

"Waiter?" I hear him call out.

I instantly face him. "I said, I'm good!"

"No." He says firmly. "We're still far from the orphanage and there are not much stores to buy foods along the way. I don't want you to starve."

I take a deep breath. I inhale. I exhale. I try to control myself but it's no use. "Alexander look, all I want is a fucking vegetable salad." I say in a low but irritated voice. "What do you care about me losing weight? Nothing! I'll do what I want and I don't care about your opinion. If I starve, I'll starve. This is my body! So please shut the fuck up because being with you makes me want to kill myself and you opening your mouth makes me want to kill myself even more." I glare at him. "Don't act like as if everything is okay because after what you've done, it won't be okay. Ever." I burst out. I can't contain myself. I've been trying hard to contain myself to stop saying those words but I hit my limit.

"Yes sir?" The waiter arrives.

"Nothing. We're perfectly fine. Thank you." I respond with a sweet smile. "Right Alexander?"

Alexander says nothing and looks away. His face is devastated.

Somehow, I feel a glint of satisfaction seeing him like this. I hate him after what had done to me and to see him making that expression somehow brings an unexplainable pleasure deep in my heart.

I'm sorry Alexander.