She's Wild

Chapter 30: Break down my walls

Chapter 30: Break down my walls

^^ sorry for the slow updates, ily xx

I killed her.

I killed her.

I effing killed her.

Not only was I mad at the driver but I was angry at myself. Maybe if I'd forgiven her then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I spent time on actually being with her instead of staying cooped up in my room then she wouldn't of gone outside. 

Maybe if I did things different.

I hold back a sob as Evan whispers sweet nothings in my ear in the hospital chair. 

First Evan gets hurt, now Kasey? What next? Why is it always me who gets the dark weather? I could see people around me give sympathetic looks causing my anger to grow and build. I don't effing need their pity, nor did I ask for it.

"What? You've never seen a girl cry before?!" I shout at them, standing up. Evan grabs my wrist, trying to calm me down. But at this point, nothing can.

I tug my wrist out of Evan's hold and bolt to the bathrooms, ignoring all the shocked expressions people were wearing.

I killed my best friend.

This is why I don't get close to people, it's either they leave me, or I mess it all up. The guilt and regret was tearing me apart, it was as if my heart was being repeatedly and brutally stabbed. I sob and sink further to the floor, my shoulders slumped and my hair stuck to my damp cheeks.

When will this end?

The door swings open causing me to flinch, I sink further into the wall but soon relax once I see Evan's worried face.

"SIr! You can't go in there! It's the girls restroom!" A nurse calls out behind him, Evan ignores her and bends down in front of me. His concerned eyes met mine, we were stuck in a trance that I never wanted to get out of.

"Wild," Evan whispers "it's gonna be okay." Evan says in such a soothing voice I believed him.

"I-I know, but I just need to feel the pain right now." I sigh in a barely audible voice. I bet I looked like Dracula right now, red and puffy eyes from crying, hair knotted and tangled.

Evan nods and scoops me up in his arms as if I were a baby. His secured arms made me feel more safe than anything ever has before. I could feel my heart losing all the weight it had carried. A stray tear ran down my cheek as Evan hugged all the pain away.

"Evan." I sob out, hugging him back as tight as I could. I clench my fists in ball, keeping his shirt in my tight hold as if he were to fly away any second now. I put my head in the crook of his neck, searching for his comfort.

"I'm here, and I'm not leaving." Evan whispers back.

We must've looked so weird, so cliche right now.

But I didn't care.

All the hurt, all the pain, all the guilt and regret has vanished. Every scar and memory left my body, and it's all because of Evan.

"We're gonna be okay." Evan says, I could hear his voice tremble in his words. He was scared too, he was broken too.

"Yes, we will." I smile slightly. I pull away only to notice that Evan's eyes were glassy, showing me that he had fears too. All the bad boy stuff was just a facade, because right now, he was showing me more than that. He was showing me the Evan I grew to love. He was showing me a boy with fears and insecurities.

And I was grateful for that.

It looked and sounded like he was trying to convince himself that we're gonna be alright, even though we were. It's always gonna be okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

"C'mon, let's go." I sigh, standing up before wiping my tears with the back of my hand. I grab Evans hand and soon we were walking back to the chairs.

"Second call, anyone hear related to Kasey Lima?!" The doctor says in a loud voice, people looked around the room, wondering where the family is.

"Hello doctor, I'm Kasey's foster sister. Her parents are on their way, this is my boyfriend." I mention once I reach him.

"Okay, only relatives though. So your boyfriend may not come visit her." The doctor says looking down at us with a sympathetic smile.

"No. He comes with me no matter what."

"I'm sorry miss, but only relatives allowed to see her before she goes into hospice."

No one ever said anything about hospice...

"No! I want me and Evan to see her before she gets buried six feet below!!" I yell in his face.

"Wild-" Evan starts but instantly I cut him off.

"No! You come with!" I yell loudly, I could feel peoples judging stares and whispers around the room, but I simply ignored it.

"Okay, just calm down miss. He may come with." The doctor says with wide eyes, I give him a glare before walking past him and into Kasey's room, Evan on my heels.

The sight of Kasey had tears come to my eyes, I pushed them back down. I need to be strong, for Kasey, and Evan.

I slowly walk towards the bed, she was in a hospital gown, tubes connected to every part of her body. Her body was still covered in blood and dirt with made my heart physically hurt. 

"Kasey." I gasp, trying to collect a handful of air to revive my lungs.

I look at the heart monitor, watching it carefully as if it could go flat any second now, which it might soon.

I wanted to do anything in my will power to save her, she was a huge part in my life. She was the only friend I could actually rely on and trust knowing she'd never turn her back on me.

She never meant to hurt me.

That was never her intentions and I knew it. It was like a gut feeling I had.

"I want her back." I say, my voice cracking as the tears threatened to spill. I tried my hardest to not let them drop.

Be strong.

I turn around to see Evan with a broken heart-ed face, his eyebrows furrowed in worry, his frown deepened after he took a good look at Kasey.

"Kasey and I have been in the same school since Pre-School. I never really talked to her much until you came, I never knew she was such a good person. At the time, nobody mattered," Evan ushed his tears away before continuing "but I wish I could've gotten to known her earlier. You changed my life Wild." Evan puts his head down, almost as if he were trying to hide his tears.

"Hey hey hey, Evan, it'll be okay, just hold on for me." I frown, Evan gives me a weak smile before smashing his lips down on mine.

Then a loud beep was heard.

-

hello loves, i hope you enjoyed the chapter! what did ya think? 

once again, im sorry for the slow chapters but im trying. my cousin just died so just give me a little bit of time. thanks ilysm xx