NOTHING GIRL || Remus Lupin

-Twenty Nine: We Aren't in Kansas Anymore-

Remus sighed.

He crumpled the letter in his hand. His Owl Pops cereal suddenly didn't seem edible. The words kept spinning around in his mind. Not sure how long she has left... She doesn't want you to worry... I think she just wants to hear your voice...

Sometimes, Remus couldn't remember a time before his mum was sick. Sometimes he thought she had only ever shuffled around the house, eyes hollow and back hunched against the invisible wind that was slowly wearing her down. Sometimes he thought he had only ever been accustomed to waking and hearing wrecked, agonising sobs and murmurings of reassurance from his father echo through the walls in the early hours of the morning. Just like he sometimes fooled himself into thinking there had never been a time when the full moon didn't turn him into a monster.

He was barely aware of the slim figure slipping onto the bench next to him until she spoke.

"Who is it?"

Not expecting someone's voice and then having it thrown in your direction is jarring. Not expecting Helia's voice but hearing it anyway is full on shut-down-Houston-we-have-a-problem. Remus turned his head to see her watching him with those dark eyes, lit up by a thousand dancing, sparkling stars that winked across the pitch blackness of her pupil. She spoke carefully as if aware she was walking on thin ground.

"What?" Remus's reply sounded more choked out than anything. It had been almost a month since he had last seen her, really seen her, though he could blame most of that on doing odd jobs for the Order. It was mostly paperwork. You wouldn't think a secret organisation created with the sole intention of protecting all of wizard kind from a dark force that you literally could not name would have to deal with admin, but there you go.

Helia indicated the letter stiffly. Remus couldn't pretend that he didn't have a suspicion that she had been avoiding him as well. The notes were still coming, but there had been no more talk of meeting, nothing to suggest that Helia wanted to communicate face to face.

"You're a lot easier to read than I am." Helia stated, as if it were obvious, which, Remus supposed, it was. "You look like you've just been handed a death sentence, except you 'honourable'," The way she said it made the quotation marks very clear, "Gryffindors are more likely to get like that," she pointed at his face "over someone else. So, who is it?"

Remus thought about lying, but Helia's cautiously concerned face made him change his mind. "My mum." he said quietly.

"Oh God."

Odd as the situation was, the sound of such a muggle expression made the corners of Remus's mouth turn up, if only darkly.

"I doubt he had much to do with it." He said. When Helia didn't say anything, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just wish I could speak to her, you know?" Helia had the same kind of thoughtful, far-off look that she did when she was planning something.

"Yeah." She said, distracted.

Crash!

The door of the Great Hall burst open abruptly, letting in a small mob of Slytherins, all with hair dyed gold and red; the colours of Gryffindor house. Their eyes sparked anger as they glared around the hall in search of a culprit.

"On that note." Helia said smoothly, all concern of a minute ago vanishing. "I suddenly have an urge to get to potions early. See you, Moon Boy."

"Goodbye." Remus muttered vaguely, too caught up in watching with amazement as Mulciber, a sixth year whose close shave had managed to be transformed into a stunning artistry of red and god that, if you looked closely enough, greatly resembled a lion, strode past his bench.