NOTHING GIRL || Remus Lupin

-Forty Four: Butterfly Wings-

And Here's What You Missed At: Hogwarts

"It'll only be a second, I swear." Remus promised, looking the sort of desperate nervous that doesn't even try to hide it's anxiety. Helia didn't know how she was meant to say no to that. She spared one last look at her friends, sending a silent prayer for their safety, and dropped her head in a quick nod.

"Okay."

.........................

This is a story told in three parts. Unfortunately, you only get to see Helia's. But you have to be aware that, every second that she's living her version of that night, she is allowing the other two to unfold. There is a price for following your instincts. There is a price for selfishness.

But it's not necessarily just her that's going to pay it.

.....................

Remus lead Helia out of the party room, only realising after he had turned the familiar corner on the Seventh Floor that he was leading her to the Room of Requirement. He stopped instantly, unsure how to proceed. Helia, thankfully, took over, shooting him an eyebrows-raised, superior kind of look as she passed.

The familiar creak of the door sent a pang of nostalgia through Remus. He took a deep breath before following Helia. The girl wandered in casually and dropped onto one of the bean bags, somehow with all of her dignity remaining intact. Her posture was so casual that it had to be forced.

Helia observed Remus expectantly. "Well?"

Remus swallowed. The words seemed to have stagnated somewhere in his throat, blocked by the lump that had formed there. He opened his mouth, and closed it, and opened it again only to choke on the big, looming nothing that was present in a way that he had never felt it before.

"I'll start, shall I?" Helia said coolly. She stood up, casual sarcasm in every feature of her face. She placed a hand on her heart. "Hello group. My name is Helia Blacksmith." She paused, clearly waiting for Remus to play along with a 'Hello Helia'. He didn't. "And this guy." She indicated Remus. "Is the dick who tried to kill someone in my forest. Which was so inconsiderate of him. After all, I'm the only one who gets to murder there."

Remus stared at her for a second, shocked that she could even make a joke like that. But of course she could. She was Helia Blacksmith. Societal standards had no bearing on her life. After a moment, Remus became aware that she was waiting for him to say something. His shoulder twinged with the memory of the curse that Helia had flung at him.

"I already told you..." He muttered, slightly uncomfortable. There was something off in the air between them. Something that had never been off before. "My wand broke. I was-"

"You had the answer." Helia said sharply, "You've had it for months. Why the hell didn't you take the potion I made you? There should have been enough to last till the end of the year."

"Ah." Remus felt like clawing his throat out. He wished he hadn't called her out of the party, not even when the washed-out colours and fake lights made her hair dance thirty shades of the rainbow. Not even when the bright of the room seemed dim compared to the brilliant, roaring blue of her eyes. "Well, after the phone call, you know, with Greyback and stuff, I didn't know what was in the potion, and-"

"You were supposed to have been taking it for months." Helia said quietly. There was an undertone to her voice, something he couldn't quite detect, a stillness that made him scared, both of her and for her.

There were a thousand excuses in his mind: He couldn't take it, not with James and Peter and Sirius there, or he'd lost it. But he knew that both of those things were false. The potion was tucked carefully into his trunk upstairs, and the other Marauders would never ask questions if they sensed he didn't want them too. Helia knew that.