NOTHING GIRL || Remus Lupin

-Forty Five: Switched-

"Your headmaster," Professor Scamander growled, surveying the class with a glare that didn't become any less scary the more you were exposed to it, "Thinks that you imbeciles are old enough to know exactly what wants to take a bite out of a bunch of little innocent runts like you."

Remus leant his chin on a fist, bored. He glanced at the chair next to him. He could feel Helia's absence, a tangible thing. He felt it when his knuckles clenched at the thought. He shouldn't need Helia's presence in the way he did. In the same way that something felt off when Sirius or James or Peter couldn't be bothered to do a prank with the rest of them. Like some integral part of the machine was missing.

An old projector, the type that you put slides in, was set up at the back of the room. Scamander marched over to it and hit it with his crane in a way that sent a bang! cracking across the silent classroom. The first slide flashed into being, a troop of black robed people wearing skull masks way too detailed to be party to a Halloween parade.

"These," the professor growled, "Are Death Eaters. First on the left are Jim and Mary Flint."

That got Remus's attention. Martin Flint's dad, he knew, had been a confirmed Death Eater who had met his end six years ago, at the hands of Helia Blacksmith. Remus was suddenly very glad that Helia was missing the class.

"Mary tortured fifteen muggles to death after her husband died." Professor Scamander continued relentlessly, "She had a particular penchant for the imperious curse, as I understand it. People were reported leaping off buildings all over London." The teacher leant forward so that he was right in the face of the person in the front row, who happened to be Jade. Spittle flew in her face as the ancient man spat, "And they still haven't found her."

Someone to the left of Remus yawned, and he didn't need to turn his head to know that it was Sirius, trying to get his attention. But all he could see was Helia's face when McGonagall had walked into the library the day of the Hogsmead trip to tell Lilly the truth about her parents. He wondered if Mary Flint knew who killed her husband.

The rest of the lesson slid past slowly, but Remus wasn't taking any of it in.

He was torn between thinking about Helia too much and telling himself that it wasn't healthy to think about Helia so much. He wondered if Helia ever felt the same. Sometimes he caught her watching him, or thought about the way she used to smile, and he wondered. But then he remembered the blankness of her eyes on those few occasions that they made eye contact. She had cared about him once, he had figured out too late, but no more. Maybe, he could hope, Helia missed the shadow of what could have been.

No, no more hope. No more caring whether she was looking at him or not. No more lying awake thinking about all the ways he had gone wrong. Next week was the end of the year, and he would have a whole six weeks to get over her.

It would be fine.

Finally, the end of class was signalled and the students hurriedly stuffed their books into their bags, grouping off as their minds and conversations drifted to more important things like Quidditch, and who had managed to fall foul of the Marauders that week. A familiar bouncing figure appeared at the entrance to the classroom. Remus ducked his head. Other than Helia, the last person he wanted to see was Linette Bell. Surprisingly, Jade seemed to feel the same, darting out of the room as if her speed would make her less visible.

...........................................

"What's wrong?"

Sirius half grinned at Lin, but it wasn't real and they both knew it. The rest of the Defence Against the Dark Arts class had filed out ten minutes ago, yet neither of them could find it in them to say goodbye. "I'll never understand how you can read my mind like that."