When I wake up, everyone is in the same room as me. It's normal for Michael to be here since we are sharing the room, but Ashton and Calum are bunched together on the other bed.
Maybe Ashton will forget all about last night and we'll never have to speak of it again.
Another night of sleep, this is so bizarre, I think to myself, seeing as the time says 7:58am.
"Luke?" I hear Michael sleepily say my name.
"What," I gruff back to him.
"You okay?"
"'m fine Mike, go back to sleep."
"No, I'm awake now," he says groaning while stretching.
No way getting out of breakfast this time then.
"Why are you even in here?"
"Ashton seemed pretty upset last night but wouldn't tell us what was up until you were awake, so we hung out with you but you never woke up."
"Is he up?" Ashton asks in his rough morning voice.
"Yeah," Michael and I both say at the same time.
"Good, Cal wake up," he groans while shaking Calum awake.
"I'm up, I'm up."
"Good, let's talk then."
I sigh, "Ashton, everyone just woke up, can't we do this later?" or never maybe?
"Would you rather go eat breakfast?" He asks he knowingly.
"Fuck you man," I angrily say.
"Woah, Luke, calm down," Calum says.
"No, that was my fault, I'm sorry Luke. I just, don't know how to handle something like this." Ashton confesses.
"Something like what?" Michael asks.
Ashton stares at me, a look asking should I tell them or do you want to? Which I groan to, because why should they know anyways? It's none of their business to begin with. It's no ones business but mine.
"Luke isn't alright," Ashton starts, while I fire a glare at him, "and I think he should see a doctor."
"Haven't we already been through this? We've talked about him seeing a doctor before. What happened to that?" Calum asks.
"I didn't want to go, there was no point in going." I say, standing up from the bed. I should have stood up slower though, because now I'm losing my balance feeling lightheaded.
"Luke, you look awful. Ashton's right about seeing a doctor."
"Then I think we should talk about this now," Ashton says his words towards me.
"I don't understand why they need to know, it's none of their business." I tell him dryly. It's really no ones business but mine. Just because I told Ashton, doesn't mean he gets to talk about it with everyone else.
"What's going on?"
"Luke has an eating disorder." Ashton blurts out.
"I do not!" I shout. "You're unbelievable!" I jump out of bed and start pacing, but get light headed the second I'm up. Michael notices and goes to help me balance.
"Well that explains a lot, actually," Calum grumbles to himself, Michael nodding with him.
"You alright?" Michael whispers to me. Not being in the mood though, I swat him away.
"We just need to figure out what to do about it. First thing to do, most likely, is get him to a doctor." Ashton brainstorms.
"I'm right here, don't talk about me like I'm not."
"Yeah Ash, go easy on the guy. This can't be easy for him." Michael scolds.
"I'm not made of glass either, Michael. There's nothing wrong with me, so why don't we just drop it," I sneer.
They look back and forth to each other, probably wondering what to do with me. Ashton already exposed me, although I wouldn't call what I'm doing an eating disorder. Either way, they all know I'm not as well as I say I am.
"You have to tell your parents," Calum says to me.
"No way in hell, no no no. I am not telling my parents anything because there's nothing wrong with me."
"Then you should see a doctor if you don't want to tell your parents."
What does Calum know? He knows nothing about what I'm going through, none of them do.
"And you both just believe Ashton's accusation?" I say staring at both Calum and Michael.
"Well like I said, it makes sense. We never really see you eat, and you're looking awfully unhealthy," Calum states.
"This is ridiculous, I do not have a problem. And besides," I use my hands as quotes, "'eating disorders' are for women, not men."
Michael shakes his head at me. He almost looks disappointed.
"Men can have eating disorders just as well as women Luke, it's not a gender-specific disorder," Ashton informs me.
"Well, I don't have one and that's that." I tell them angrily.
Michael speaks up, "at least get checked out by a doctor, please?"
"Yeah, you look truly awful," Calum adds.
They aren't going to leave me alone if I don't agree. Man, why do they care so much? I'm nothing special or anything, who cares what happens to me?
"Fine. If it will make you shut up, then fine," I try to say as harsh as possible, not letting my fear leak into my facial expressions. Of course it's not fine. When could this possibly ever be fine? This is a disaster. I'm okay. Not by any medical standards but for my own standards. That's all that matters.
"Should we tell management?" someone says. I'm too focused on my thoughts to process who's speaking.
"No," I plead.
"We have to tell them something, we can't just go off on our own and forget our responsibilities."
"He's right. Well... okay, we'll just tell them you're feeling really ill. We'll set up an appointment, and you can go in alone to talk," Ashton, I think at least, brainstorms out loud.
"Fine."
"Okay, I'll go make some calls to management," he says.
"Fine."
Ashton stands up, snapping me out of my thoughts. He leaves the room, phone in hand. I sigh in relief, although my relief flees me when I hear Michael ask me something.
"Do you want to try to eat something?"
"No, I'm fine."
"But when's the last time you-"
"Don't do this, Michael" I spit harshly to him.
"Just let it go, Mikey," Calum says defeatedly.
"I guess we'll wait for Ashton to finish up then," Michael says, sounding just as defeated as Calum.
"Fine," is all I keep saying. It's all I can say to shut them out. I just need to be alone.
Alone with my own thoughts and try to process all that has happened in the last twenty four hours.
YOU ARE READING
Outside the Lines (lashton)
Fanfiction5 Seconds of Summer are a few shows away from the end of the Where We Are tour back in 2014. Next, they're going to be selling out concerts, playing in stadiums, and living their dreams even more than they are currently. But just because things are...
