Outside the Lines (lashton)

(25)

I look back to my bed. What if the beds there aren't comfortable and I'm not able to sleep? Of course, I've slept on countless hotel beds that haven't been the most comfortable, surely I can do this. At last second, I grab a mini penguin stuffed animal and stuff it into my suitcase. For good luck.

Walking downstairs with my suitcase in hand, I see my parents waiting for me on the couch. They stand upon seeing me. "Are you ready?" my dad asks me.

"Not really," I mutter.

He tries to give me a reassuring smile. "Everything will be alright kid," he says, and I really hope he's right. I passed out again last night when I was exercising too hard. No one noticed since I was in my room and it was late at night. Still, it scared me and reminded me what I'm doing to my body. It was a little wake up call that I needed.

My dad puts my suitcase in the trunk of the car while I situate myself in the back seat. I pull out my phone and check Twitter, something I probably shouldn't do for the sake of my mental health.

My @'s are flooded with worries. A hope you feel better soon luke were thinking about you here, a please take care of yourself there, and the occasional you look sickly luke i hope you're getting help for whatever is going on.

Knowing some fans truly know what's going on makes me tense up. There's a few tweets addressing my "obvious eating disorder" as they say. It makes me cringe.

I'm about to put my phone away when I get an incoming text from someone.

Ashton: hey hope you're holding up alright. I believe you can get through this without a problem. I'll visit you as often as I can okay? you're strong, you've got this. love you man.

The text makes me smile, knowing someone believes in me so much. I barely believe in myself. I don't think any of this is going to go well. Maybe I should start thinking positive. Kevin did mention that thinking positive will help with the recovery process. I'll give positivity a try again I guess.

Luke: thanks ash, love u too :-)

I put my phone in my pocket and decide to stare out the window the rest of the ride there. Time flies as the panic inside of me rises and before I know it, we've arrived.

It's not the size of a hospital, maybe the size of one wing of a hospital. The outside walls are a pale red for the first floor and white for the second floor, with a terracotta coloured roof. The sign reads Walden Center for Eating Disorders in blue print. If I wasn't in such a melancholy mood, I'd laugh at the clashing colors.

My dad gets my suitcase out again and before I've even prepared myself for what's to come, we're heading inside.

"Welcome to The Walden Center, how may I be of service?" the man behind the desk asks us kindly. Last time when we came in for my intake, there was a girl at the desk. Now there's this cute guy.

"We're here to check in Luke Hemmings," my mom says emotionless, interrupting me from my thoughts. He nods before speaking again. "Let me lead you to the doctors office." We follow him down an empty hallway, to a set of rooms. One of the two doors are cracked open, and the man knocks on the cracked door. "I have Luke Hemmings here," he says to the doctor behind the door.

"Hello Luke, I'm doctor Cassidy Kelly. These are your parents I'm assuming?" the doctor asks me. I nod my head shyly, not comfortable in this atmosphere.

"Unfortunately you do need to fill out more paper work. Annoying, I know," she sighs. I feel that sigh through my whole being.

Paperwork only takes ten minutes to fill out, not bad compared to when I went to the intake. Once the paperwork is complete, the doctor starts talking again.