I'm still me !!!

What the hell is that

Derek's pov

So here we are and at this point I'm trying to figure out what Deaton means by special one. "Stiles is an alphas mate, which is rare but what do you mean he's different?" Deaton asks calmly. "Well his eyes can change but he's still human and it's weird." I stated almost as calmly as he did. "Well you see there's this myth where an alphas mate can do that on their own it means that they can turn into something special." Before Deaton could finish he was interrupted by Stiles "Like what the hell could possibly happen now?" Deaton just gave Stiles the death stare for interrupting him.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, he could be one of three things one, an angel of some type we would have to figure it out later. Two, A special type of werewolf that is like the prince of all werewolves or three, Something sorta like me a spark /witch." He paused and started again "He can only be one of these things if he gets bitten. An alpha's mate is pretty rare still because well.. he is able to get pregnant." Stiles eyes nearly fell out of his head when he heard this. "What the fuck? no, I'm done. I'm sorry, how the hell? but why the fuck?!" He was cut off by Deaton as he said "Yes you can have babies but only if you allow that person to. If you're really in love but you have to talk to your mate about it first so that your other mate is okay with it." Stiles just looked like he was about to kill someone.

He looked at me and left out the door, he ran. I was about to walk after him when Deaton caught my arm and said "Derek if Stiles becomes an angle some day and he feels mistreated and unappreciated then he will turn into a bad angle." I looked shocked and said "I will do everything I can." He let go and I ran after Stiles, I picked up his scent and he was behind the building. I walk around and see him on the ground crying. "Stiles why are you crying?" I ask in a very concerned tone. He looks at me and yelled in anger "Why the fuck do you think I'm angry Derek huh? maybe its because I can get fucking babies and I have alphas looking for me because I'm an alphas mate since I was born and I can also be some weird shit if I ever get bit!!!" It started to rain and I started to cry when he stopped.

I'm trying so hard and his scent makes it worse and the smell of his sadness, I can't. It hurts I try to make him happy but he doesn't like me the way I love him. I turn away and start walking to the car I'm soaked but I'm stopped by Stiles' voice. "Derek I-I'm sorry I was just upset i didn't -" i cut him off by saying. "Whatever, it's fine you said what you said and it's done and over with. Let's just go I have to drop you off at your house." I started to cry more and I couldn't stop the tears from falling . It's like everything hit me so hard and I could stop I fell to the ground.

I couldn't stop but then I realized what I was doing. I was showing emotion, I hate showing emotions. It makes me vulnerable and I don't want anyone to know, especially the guy who I'm in love with but he will never love me back. I start panicking and breathing heavily I couldn't focus I didn't know what was happening to me. I need help. I was freaking out even harder then I felt a pair of soft lips touch mine, I knew this feeling. They were Stiles' lips on mine I kissed back but pulled away quickly and he whined a little bit. "Wh- how did you do that?" I asked scared and out of breath.

"Well I heard from someone that if you hold your breath it stops panic attacks and when I kissed you, you held your breath. " Stiles stated calmly I couldn't think how did he know what to do . "I...I-I did?" I asked shakily he just nodded and I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go home and sleep or cry. Maybe even have hope that some day he will love me. We walked to the car and got in, the whole ride was silent. And we finally got to Stiles' house his dad wasn't home so I just waited. " My dads not home would you like to come inside?" Stiles says almost as a command and less than a question.
I look at him hard before I answer with "Stiles I shou-" I was interrupted because he said "Just come inside please." He was almost whining. I looked at him and sighed but nodded.

We walked inside and as soon as we did Stiles locks the door and gives me a devilish smile. He dragged me up to his room and sat me on his bed. I looked at him and we just stared at each other. When he whispered "God you smell so good." As attacked my lips I kissed him back each time but pulled him away. I couldn't do this he tends to do things like this and regret it. "Derek please just bite my shoulder a little bit." He whined, I couldn't I knew what that meant to me. it means we would have been classified as mates. Technically married in the supernatural world. And that would have been too much. He looked at me and attacked me again but this time he...