Billionaire's Baby Mama (OWENS SERIES #1)

27 | Looking for the culprit

*Edited*

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started" - Mark Twain

E L L A

It's been a week since I lost our baby boy and it felt like months. I haven't seen Anthony again after the day I lost him. We sat there for an hour without talking because no one knew what to say. We were both heartbroken about the loss of our child and we both knew that nothing anyone would say could make us feel better. No words would bring back our child.

I wasn't able to look him in the face. Anthony loved our child as much as I did and I'm sure that he feels the same way like I do. But our grief is not the same. He knows that it's not his fault but I on the other hand know for sure it's mine. I'm a terrible mother and a terrible human being. I already failed being a mother before I got the chance to even see my child. Someone hated me and because of some mistake I made someone wanted to kill me. With Atropine which is a form of poison. I don't know if the person who poisoned me wanted to kill me or just intended to kill my child because he or she knew that losing a child is far worse than death. I still can't think of anyone that I know who would be capable of doing something horrible like this.

Landon came home the day after it happened. He and my mother took care of me but they weren't able to fill the hole in my heart that my baby left. Even Sura couldn't make me feel better even though her presence helped a little bit. It seemed like she knew that I was feeling bad because she never left my side and every time I cried she came towards me and licked my face. 

Anthony tried to talk to me and came over to our house every single day but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face him. When I think about my child I think about how much it may have looked like him. I don't want to see the look of reproach and hate that he's going to give me. I mean I'm the person who killed his child. The child that he wanted and fought for so badly.

A N T H O N Y

With a sigh I placed my phone back on the table. Ella ignored my call again. I tried multiple times to talk to her but she doesn't want to see or talk to me. Every time when I visited her either Landon or Sierra opened the door and told me that Ella was asleep or that she didn't feel well. Of course that was a lie. I know that she's avoiding me. I don't know why she does this because she can't run away from me. One day we have to talk about our loss. It was my child as well for fucks sake. I know that she's sad hell I'm sad as well. I lost someone important too. And every day and night I think about my son. How vulnerable he looked. I can't get the picture out of my head. Even in my dreams the image is following me. I dream about my child calling me names because I wasn't able to protect him and wasn't there to safe him when he needed me the most. The pain of losing him will never go away and the only person that knew exactly what I was going through right now was Ella. We were grieving because of the same person. 

At the moment I was trying to find the person who did this. Who killed my child. Our child. I came to conclusion that it's Amanda. She hated Ella and already threatened her to kill her and the child. So she has a reason to poison her. I can't think of anyone else that I know who would do something like that. Amanda is selfish. She doesn't care about people. If someone is in her way she makes sure that this person is no longer a problem for her. The only question that I asked myself is how was she able to poison her? She visited Ella weeks before she went to the hospital and the Atropine wouldn't have shown its effect now is she poisoned her back then. 

I wanted to tell Ella my plan on paying Amanda a visit but I wasn't able to do so. So I asked Landon if he would go with me. I'm not a huge fan of him but Ella's mother Sierra told me that when he found out about my son's death he looked seriously heartbroken and that he tried to find the culprit as well. I have to trust her with this. She hates Landon and would never say something positive about him that she doesn't mean. I wasn't looking forward to spending time with him since he had something that I wanted. Ella. I knew that she just wasn't happy with him I could see it in her eyes. She doesn't love him. I can't find any reason why she would stay with him if he doesn't make her happy. But she doesn't believe me. I told her once and she started shouting and me. I don't know if she thinks that she's happy with him but I can tell you she clearly isn't. She would be happier with me.