I Wait~ Wonpil Day6

#5

The next day I woke up at 01:34 PM. My head really hurt. And I couldn't find my phone.
I ran into the living room, and started looking everywhere for it.
Jun was sitting by the kitchen counter on his phone. He started laughing at me.
- what's wrong?
He asked me.
- can't find my phone.
I told him. He started laughing again, making me look at him. Wait. That was my phone.
- you're so dead.
I told him, and he ran away, most likely filming me running after him.
- this is so going on Snapchat.
He said and ran into his room, locking the door. I suddenly realized I had a private session with jae at 3PM. I decided to just leave my phone, and go to work now. I actually found my own outfit today. I wore black jeans and a red sweater. I didn't feel like dressing professional today. I felt like shit. And I would probably be hungover all day. But I really wanted to talk to Jae. To make him understand. Or just so that he would give me a chance. Because I could loose my job if not everyone wanted to work with me. But it was also because I wanted him to trust me. I realized that WonPil would never trust me again. And I understood that. But I didn't want to think about the past. Because there was something wrong with me in high school.

I was on the bus right now, and I felt so anxious. I wasn't usually like this. I felt so stressed.
I just wanted to do my job, and help them.

I got to the JYP building, and I remembered to show the security guard my ID. But he was still looking down at me. I could feel it.
I guess I still needed to work hard to get a reputation here.
I went to my office to wait for Jae. Hopefully he would be on time. This was going to be hard.
But I needed to talk to him. I wanted him to know that I wouldn't be here to decide what they would write and who got lines. I just needed him to understand it.
But I guessed it would be hard. He was a really stubborn person. I really respected that.

He actually came on time today. When he entered my office, I pretended I was sitting and working. But in reality, I was sitting biting my nails worrying about the lesson.
- let's just this over with, I have to be on ASC later.
He told me. I remember he was an MC at ASC.
- how about you stop treating me like a itchy sweater?
I asked him. Im not sure if I should talk to him like that. But I was getting kind of sad, and it made me irritated. I'm still a person with feelings.
- wae? You're just in our way. And I don't trust you. Wonpil told me he knew you and that you weren't a good person.
He said.
- I really don't know what you all mean. I didn't know him before I started working here. Sungjin already asked me about this.
I told him.
I always lied since I started working here. It wasn't really me. I hated lying. I felt fake. But my career was the most important thing in my life right now.
- it's just really hard to believe.
He told me.
- how about this, give me one week. Just one week. And if you still don't want me here, I will work with another group.
I told him.
My heart was beating so fast. Because I had no idea if it would actually work.
And I didn't even know if I could work with another group. I would probably get fired.
- since it's not really your fault that you have to work with us, fine. You got one week.
He said.
- thank you. I'm going to give you this notebook. And i want you to write down everything you think, when you have trouble figuring out stuff. You don't have to tell the others about it.
I told him, and handed him the notebook.
He actually said it was a good idea. I let him go after that.

Since I wasn't really done for today, I decided to go to lunch. I wanted junk food . And it was a restaurant just down the street. I decided to put on my face mask when I got outside, because I didn't want anyone to see me there.
Was it fear of character judgement? Hah.
When I got there, I entered the fast food restaurant, and realized how many people where here. I kept my mask on as I quietly walked over to the cashier, and ordered a cheese burger to go.
When it was finished, I took it quickly, and started to walk out. But someone called my name.
- Siyeon? Is that you?
Someone said.
How could they recognize me with my mask on? I slowly turned to where my name was called from. Of course it had to be them. I felt really embarrassed. YoungK, Dowoon, sungjin and Wonpil was looking at me. I covered the rest of my face with the paper bag they had put the burger in. I wasn't really thinking.
-....no?
I said, and couldn't really decide if I should leave or talk to them. But eventually I removed the bag.
- why are you hiding?
Sungjin asked me, laughing.
- how could you tell it was me?
I asked him.
I took of my mask, and walked over to their table.
- .. your hair?
He said unsure.
- I'm wearing a caps.
I said.
Then YoungK started laughing. I didn't really get what was so funny.
- he noticed your back..parts.
YoungK said.
I didn't know how to react to that. But I did get more embarrassed than I already was.
- that's not it!
Sungjin said and hit YoungK on his shoulder, only to make him smile wider and laugh more. I looked at Dowoon to say hi to him, but he looked away.
- are you going to sit down or not?
Sungjin asked me. But I was still trying to figure out why Dowoon didn't look at me.
I looked at Wonpil, and he was already looking at me. He looked really satisfied for some reason. Then I got it. He probably told Dowoon everything about me.

I just left, without saying anything. I threw my burger in the trash before leaving through the door.