Matty Healy Imagines

"Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?"

"Yeah. I know, it's fine." She breathed, her eyes watering. Trying to fight the tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.

He walked a few steps towards her, took both her wrists in one hand and used the other to tuck strands of hair away from her face. She almost flinched at his touch. It was the first time. No, it was, in fact, the last. As they found themselves in this situation.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." He said. But these words didn't seem to ease how she felt at the moment. Her heart was beating, faster than it ever did with him. But it wasn't a good thing. It was a painful kind of beating. It even crossed her mind that physical pain would be better than the pain she's feeling now.

"No. I get it, Matt." She tried to pull herself together and stand straight, managing to remove his hands from hers. "It's fine, really."

She blinked once as she dared to look in his eyes. "I feel the same way."

With this, she watched Matty's eyes glisten with the same emotion she probably had on hers when he had said they should break up, hurt. She couldn't mistake it for anything else. She was sure he was hurt. But why? She asked herself.

He took in a sharp breath and put his head back down, not knowing how to respond. He started to nod slowly as if acknowledging her statement. "I hope you'll finally be happy with her." She forced a small smile.

He had broken up with her and left her in that flat in less than an hour. He had confessed he wanted to end their relationship for someone else he had stronger feelings for. And all that before he leaves for tour in a couple months. She never felt so much pain in her life.

It was the kind of pain that made her drop to the floor and break down crying the moment he slammed the door after he left. Both the flat and her life, forever. He was her first love. And he knew it. She was in love with him. Yet, she lied and said otherwise.

With him, it had been the same. Hesitation. He was unsure. Unsure of what he was doing and unsure of  what his true feelings were. He felt heartless at the thought of what he was doing to her. But at the same time, he was feeling pain at the sight of her hurt expression. What did he have to do to fix everything without hurting anyone?

He was sure he felt strongly about Kirsten, his new girl, as Y/n called her earlier. She was one of his backup singers, hired for the tour, a part of his team. She was amazing and far more exciting than Y/n was. She was more fun to be with than her. She was more attractive. She was more, so much more than Y/n. 'Isn't she?' A question he didn't know he had in his mind.

Why was this so hard for him? He's thought this over and over and yet he was having second thoughts still? How? He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration as he waited for the light to turn green. A groan escaped his mouth at the same time the hand brake made it's sound. And for a minute he leaned forward and rested his head against the steering wheel.

She did nothing but fight for this relationship. He thought. How could he do this to her? The debate lasted for about half a minute and was pushed to the back of his mind as he heard car horns sounding behind him. And so he drove home frustrated. Not having the answers to his questions but eventually deciding to go with his decision.

Besides, she said she felt the same way. He thought again.

But no matter what he convinced hisself with, nothing could beat the lingering feeling that he was making a big mistake.

*****

After a month had passed, she had finally gotten back to her old routine with work and everyday life and all. Except lately she's been feeling under the weather most of the time. Throwing up and feeling nauseous everyday all week was not something she liked to spend her energy on.

A few friends have been asking her about her health but she insisted she was fine. But her best friend, Parris, was the only one who mentioned a pregnancy test. Immediately, it sent shivers down her spine. She thought and thought about how it couldn't be possible but failed. Then she put two and two together. Her weight, her moodswings, her food intake, everything.

And after spending an entire hour and a half pulling at her hair and pacing in her room, she knew it. She didn't need a test to prove it. And she broke down crying again.

She thought she was finally getting over Matty but no, he had left her a memory that would surely remind her of him every single day for the rest of her life. A child.

She was pregnant with her ex's child.