Matty Healy Imagines

"Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?" 2

It's been a month. A full solid month of traveling, drinking, performing and losing sleep over shit that just won't seem to go right in Matty's life. Although it's been great, the work just wasn't enough to brighten his mood up. The stage preps, the plane rides, the new album, the fans, the meet and greets, the interviews all seemed emptier for him the longer he was on the road. Something was missing and it was very irritating not being able to figure out what that was.

He didn't understand. This tour was their childhood dream coming true before their very eyes but why the fuck was he not happy about it? Every time he looked at the boys, they were having the time of their lives. Why was he not?

His girlfriend didn't even become a solution for that. Kirsten only made things worse. She was the kind of girl who only thought about herself. You'd think she and Matty'd be perfect for each other, but no. Every time a situation calls for affection or compassion, she just wasn't there to give it. Something he didn't know would be so irritated about. So he ended that relationship not even a couple weeks into the first month of this tour. It's been awkward with her at work ever since but it didn't seem to be bigger than what's been frustrating him. He felt empty. Empty during his dream coming to life and living it day by day. It didn't make any sense.

He'd spent weeks stressing about it and trying to figure it out. And sure enough, he did.

He was missing her,

Y/n.

The one he left behind at home. The one he told he didn't love and replaced with a girl he barely knew. How dumb was he?

He reflected on that night he left her flat. The things he'd said to her, the shot of pain evident in her eyes when he chose Kirsten over her. He told her they were better off apart. She looked so broken in front of him, yet she pretended to have felt the same way. It even shocked Matty how he knew that, how he was able to read into Y/n's eyes like that and know what's a lie and what's not. In the short time that they were together, he'd gotten to know her so much more than he'd realized. And it made sense to him now.

She was the one missing from him. The reason he was so empty when he thought the success of his own career could do that for him. Immediately, it made him mad at himself. He felt so stupid lying on that couch regretting what he's given up for something that wasn't even close to how much she meant to him at that moment.

Pictures of her flashed in his mind, her face, her smile, the things she'd done for him, all in the short time they were together, he loved her. He still fucking loved her.

His head started to hurt, and so did his eyes. He pressed on them in frustration and in an attempt to keep the tears from falling but it was useless. The door suddenly opened and slammed onto the wall, and conversation was heard from the boys as they walked in the room.

"Alright, Matt?" Adam's concerned tone caught everyone's attention.

Matty sat up and buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Fuck, no!" He groaned at the shot of pain in his chest that wouldn't seem to go away.

He looked up to see the lads surrounding him and waiting for an explanation. "I made the worst mistake I could ever make in my life."

George sat back and propped his foot on top of the other on the coffee table between them with his arms crossed. "Well, it's about time you realized it."

"What?" Ross inquired turning a curious face to him.

Adam turned and frowned at George from the coffee table. "You know about it?"

"No." George chuckled as Adam rolled his eyes, turning back to Matty.

"Y/n been keeping you up, mate?" He asked with a serious face, knowing well enough his hunch was right.