Beyond Her Fear

Chapter - 13

Aileen's POV

A few days ago, what happened to me was something very horrible and I would not able to forget that easily. I had no courage to see the pain and worry on my parent's face although they kept on saying to me that everything will be going to be fine, but little did they know my soul was tarnished into enormous pieces. One side of my mind kept on saying 'you will never heal' but the other side of it was shouting out loud 'No Aileen, you have to be strong. No power can ever let you down except Allah'. As if both the sides of my mind broke into a war, the war which seems like never ending and if somehow that ends then it will result in nothing but the death of me, my inner self.

Three days had been passed, I spend most of my time in my room. Only two times I used to go outside from it in a day, one for my lunch and another for dinner. And about college? How could I? After so much pain? I was scared! What if I meet Fahad again? No, I couldn't, only a single thought​ of him made me frightened.

Lying on my bed staring at the white ceiling as if that was telling an untold story. But just like my life, it was colourless.

"Aileen my dear, you are getting late for your university. Wake up!" I heard a voice, my Mum's voice. I told her that I am her strong girl and I will continue my university from today. But I didn't feel to go. I would continue from tomorrow but they say, tomorrow never comes.

"I am not feeling like to go. I want to sleep." I spoke.

Mum sighed, she never pressurised me to go university as she said to me before 'Join when you want. It's your life and you know much better what is correct and what is not correct to do.'

"Okay fine, open the door at least." She said.

"No Mum, I will come later." I replied, made sure not to sound rude.

"Ok but be quick," she said and left.

I got up from my comfy bed, went to the washroom and took a quite long shower. The water drops were splashing again my skin acted as a medicine for me to heal, only for a few minutes. I came out of my washroom and prayed some Nafil Salah.

I slid my dressing drawer, took a packet of biscuit and jumped on my comfy bed to eat in silence.

Food was the second thing I love.

And about first love? They say 'first love is always hard to achieve' and this was something happened with me. My first love left me in this cruel world, all alone.

After approximately 3 hours, I realised someone approaching my room. Please, Mum, go away, I thought in my heart. I wanted​ to live in peace of my room where no one can feel pity for me.

"Aileen look, who is here to visit you" Mum said with happiness in her voice.

I wondered who was there? Because in the past three days, Aneeba came to meet me four times and always asked me when I will continue the classes and I always replied her with the most common answer 'I don't know'. I didn't tell her why I was not going to university. I told her, I am not feeling good; I didn't lie I just told her the half truth. Shama Aunty also came to visit me and not to be surprised she knew what happened with me in college. Actually, I hated​ when people came to visit me because their eyes reflected the enormous rays of 'sympathy', which I didn't like as if those rays were melting my pride.

"Who?" I simply replied.

"See yourself" her voice came from the locked door.

"Sorry Mum, I am sleeping." I lied by covering my blanket over my face, willing to somehow sleep get over me in the next second but seriously this is not a Disney movie.