HER INNOCENCE TAMED MY MONSTER

CHAPTER 31 PART 2

The soft fingers caressing my face awakened me, I slightly opened my eyes and shut them again seeing her sitting beside me, and her eyes were filled with unshed tears,

"You did this to yourself again Maaz, I told you not to do this again, but you didn't listen to me," she said in a hoarse voice, "you hurt yourself again Maaz!"

"I am sorry Nani ma, I just couldn't stop myself, I wanted to do this, I wanted to feel this pain, to overcome the pain inside me," I said, still keeping my eyes shut,

"Why do you have to this to yourself, look your whole back is covered in blood," she asked as tears flow down her cheeks, she was running her fingers through my hairs, I didn't reply just keep my head on her lap and sighed,

I can't tell her, why I did this to myself, the memories of my past and the feelings I was having for Areesha, the pain I was going through and most importantly the thing which was bothering me was, I have to hurt Areesha to take my revenge from his father.

Why I had to drag her in my battle? Why I did this to her, I don't want to hurt her anymore, I could have thought something else or planned something rather than dragging her into this mess, I was feeling angry at myself, at my foolishness and stupidity, she doesn't deserve this, hell, no woman deserves this.

"Maaz, lay down here, let me get a first aid kit, or else these wounds will get septic," she said, getting up and walked to the door, after few minutes she came back with a first aid kit and took out a cotton and dipped it in a solution and cleaned my back, I laid still trying to bear the pain, I felt tiny drops on my back as she was cleaning my wounds, she was crying, making me more miserable, I made her cry, I am responsible for this, for every tear he shed for me, why I am doing this to her, she is the only family I have and I can't even keep her happy, what kind of a man I am!

"Promise me, you won't do this again to yourself, Maaz, or I will never see you again," she said when she applied some kind of gel onto my back,

"I promise," I said as I sit up next to her and hold her hand in mine, and wipe the tears from her face,

"Never, I repeat never hurt yourself Maaz, it's not the solution for your troubles, try to get yourself together and think of the most possible ways to solve them,"

"And most importantly, try to get close to Allah SWT, start offering your prayers, I am sure you will find peace, he will guide you," Nani ma said, but I didn't reply, just keep staring at my hands, she lifted my face up and looked into my eyes,

"Just let go of your past Maaz, it is going to hurt you until you let it go, forget what happened in the past and move on in your life, where your loving wife will be awaiting for you, get married and have a family, I know you feel lonely and alone, get married to the girl you love and trust me, you will find peace and happiness," she said,

"Okay," I replied, she smiled and kissed my forehead, "You are not alone, I am always with you my child, even if I die, I will be with you, in your heart," she said keeping her hand on my fast beating heart,

"Don't say this Nani ma!, I can't imagine living without you," I said and hugged her, the mere thought of losing her made me feel restless, I tried to push back the tears, but couldn't, I tightly shut my eyes and let them flow,

"You know my medical condition Maaz, I don't have much time, that's why I want you to get married and have a family before I die," she said caressing my arms, I tighten my grip on her, and cried harder,

"No, please don't leave me, Nani ma, please," I said,

"The best doctors are treating you and nothing will happen to you Nani ma, please don't leave me," I said, I don't want to lose her, the only family I have left in this whole world, I will be left alone again,