soon.

xxxv.

̶ ̶ xxxv. LOST, NEVER FOUND.

you were my solid ground, the anchor that held me down. your force of gravity fell effortlessly on my chest, you made it so hard for me to breathe.

but i loved you, so i stayed.

ever since you've left, it's been hard to relearn how to be okay again, to be able to fill my lungs up with air and not have any difficulty towards the action.

some nights, 
i miss the weight of you next to me, curled up in the sheets we shared.
most days,
my shadow screams in agony, asking me why i ever let you go.

i apologize instead.
i don't think i'll ever have an answer.