soon.

lxi.

̶ ̶ lxi. AT LEAST, I THINK I AM.

i tell myself i am over you. my heart no longer aches the way it used to and the purple under my eyes no longer digs as deep as it once did. i smile. i laugh. i spend mornings filled with pancakes and orange juice, not crying over you by the front door.

some days i am strong.
some, i am not.

there are nights where i find my hands buried in the box of things you never picked up. i cry myself to sleep with your old shirt wrapped around my body. when the sun has kissed me good morning, i wonder how the dark navy rag ended up hugging my shoulders instead of my own blanket. i cut myself open picking up my broken heart and spend the rest of the day piecing it back together.

i am lost wondering why i would drop everything i had built up to be if you walked back into my life. every awful word you ever used against me wouldn't matter because i finally had you back.

but i'm over you.