soon.

xliv.

̶ ̶  xliv. COFFEE TALK.

when do you know you're in love?

to me,
she paused, tapping her index finger on her chin before looking at the wall next to her,

it's when all the love songs you've ever listened to finally make sense and sunsets no longer look as unpromising as they used to and clouds look more white than grey and you find your chest jumping at just the sound of their name and you feel hopeless because they have so much power over you but at the same time you feel warm and safe and you know you can call them home when you're in their arms as lightning flashes outside your bedroom window even though you've always been so scared to find a place to call home and the last place you thought you'd ever find it was there, them, right in that moment with their chest heaving up and down so softly that you feel more than just soft and warm and home, you feel almost numb but a beautiful kind of numb where it starts at your chest and slowly it makes its way to your toes and when they curl against their skin and they stir in their sleep but you still find their grip on you tight enough to feel comfort, you find yourself effortlessly smiling and wondering how you ended up in that exact moment with someone who you know felt the same exact way towards you, that their heart beats in sync with yours and pumps this numbness throughout their body when they catch you doing nothing more than being you and they can't understand how lucky they've become as you wake with the sun streaming through your curtains and the sleepiness somehow makes you even more cuter than when you had fallen asleep while laying on their chest.

she paused, 
looking at me before continuing,

you know you're in love when you think about how all your bad days led up to this.

she smiled,

and how you can finally thank your old self for never giving up on life even if they never believed a day like this one would come along.