iCarly Alphabet Story (Currently Being Rewritten)

Chapter 1 - Anaconda

AN: Chapter 1 of The iCarly Alphabet Story - Anaconda! x (Rewrite/Edit) (26/06/18) 

Anaconda

"For the last time, no!" Carly yelled at her friend, who was sat down eating a fat cake. She had been listening to the blonde's crazy plans for the next iCarly for ages now, and she was getting sick of the current idea. It was stupid and dangerous.

"Come on!" Sam whined, pouting. "Who doesn't think we should get an anaconda for a new segment and make Gibby try to eat it?"

"Seriously? Who can eat an anaconda?"

Sam gave her friend a look. "You can buy anaconda meat."

"Aren't the snakes poisonous, though?" Carly asked, already grossed out. Only a few weeks ago, she had turned vegetarian. "And snakes are really good pets. Why would you want to eat one?"

"I don't want to eat one," Sam said, taking a quick bite of her fat cake. "I'll make Gibby eat one."

Freddie looked up from his tech cart where he was fiddling with his camera. He tuned out to the conversation (argument) a long time ago. Whenever he took Carly's side, Sam would be mad at him. But whenever he took Sam's side, Carly would be mad. There was no winning, so he chose to blank out their arguments until he had no choice but to step in and stop them from doing something they'd regret. "Chicas," he said, reminding them of his presence. "The show's about to start."

The two jumped to their feet as reflexes, and Freddie threw Sam her blue remote which was already programmed with the sound effects they needed for that show.

"In five, four, three, two..."

"Once upon a time, there was a brunette called Carly," Carly started.

"And then she met a crazy chick called Sam," Sam continued.

"And so started iCarly!" the two girls beamed, doing a little dance.

"On tonight's show, as a little back-to-school treat, we're doing a new segment called, 'How long has this mouldy cheese been in my school bag?'" Sam said, pausing so she could click a button her remote. The studio filled with music.

The show went on like usual from there - they did four usual segments, such as 'The Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought The Cowboy's Moustache Was A Squirrel' and 'What Am I Sitting On?', in addition to two new segments and games. The trio went to the Groovy Smoothie for a post-show snack, and that was when it happened. That was when Sam's jealousy level flew through the roof.

She watched the fourth girl that day attempt to flirt with Freddie while he stood at the counter, waiting for the smoothies to arrive. He nodded along to what the girl was saying, and Sam knew he was actually listening, too. His eyes were squinting in concentration and the corners of his lips were twitching - it was clear he had something to say, but the girl wasn't leaving any gaps.

"Sam?" Carly repeated. "Sam!"

Sam turned back to her best friend. "Huh? What was that, Carls?"

Carly frowned. "You weren't listening," she whined. "So I have to repeat all of that. Sam!"

"I'm sorry, okay?" Sam said with a small pout. "I was just-just-"

"Staring at Freddie?" Carly suggested, her frown turning into an outstretched grin. "Yeah, I know."

Sam opened her mouth to reply, but she heard another giggle coming from the girl who was now hanging off Freddie's arm. "I'll back right back," she mumbled to Carly.

Sam had had enough of it, and it was time to put the girl in her place. She pushed the table away from her and got to her feet. She heard Carly mutter a "don't kill her, Sam', but she wasn't too sure if that comment was in her head or not. It was a phrase Carly had found herself saying quite a lot since Sam's newly developed feelings towards Freddie.

"Hey," Sam greeted as she approached the brunette. She turned to the girl, her hand on her hip. She tilted her head to the side and looked the girl up and down in disgust. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Candice," the girl said, looking at Sam in the exact same way. Her voice was thin and awfully annoying to Sam's ears. "And who are you?"

"I'm going to be your worst nightmare if you don't go away right now," Sam replied.

Candice forced a laugh. "Oh, you're so funny," she said, reaching out for a piece of Sam's hair. She toyed with the curly end before Sam grabbed the string of her hair back and tucked it back to behind her ear. Candice turned to Freddie. "Would you mind maybe telling this feisty blonde to go?"

Sam gave Freddie a look.

Freddie's eyes widened. "Candice, Sam, you need to both calm down," he told them. "And you need to both get used to each other."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed. Get used to-Oh.

Oh, no, no, no! No! This couldn't be happening!

Carly then approached the three. "Hey, Freddie. Hey, Sam," she said. "Hey...I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

Candice laughed sweetly, placing a hand on her heart. "Candice," she told her, smiling.

"Ah," Carly said, nodding. "So you're Freddie's new girlfriend? He's told me all about you."

Sam almost choked on air. Carly knew but she didn't? Wasn't she, too, Freddie's best friend? She felt betrayed, hurt, mortified. But she tuned out of her thoughts and looked straight back at Freddie when he began to talk again.

"Candice," Freddie said. "These are my best friends, Carly and Sam. Carly and Sam, this is my girlfriend of two weeks, Candice."

Two weeks? It was just getting worse and worse.

"I have to go," Sam mumbled, walking back to the table. She grabbed her jacket and walked out of the store before anyone could say otherwise.

Carly sighed, watching as her friend walked away and was no longer in sight. She looked back at the couple. "Sorry about her," she said to Candice. "She told me she wasn't feeling well earlier."

Freddie was now alert. He cared about his blonde friend even if she didn't care about him. "What?" he asked instantly. "Is she okay? She seemed fine during the show."

"You know Sam," Carly pointed out. "Do you really think she'll act like something's bothering her? And hey, don't worry - I'm sure she'll be better for the start of school on Monday."

"Nah, she'll probably say she's still sick just to miss the first few days for as long as possible - that's something she'll do," Freddie said with a knowing smile. "Maybe I should make her some chicken soup; she always likes that's when she's ill."

Candice, not liking the fact all the attention wasn't on her anymore, cleared her throat. And that was when all the attention went back to her, just like she wanted. She smiled. "Freddie," she said, looking down at her phone. She tried to hide the fact the screen was blank by moving the phone close to her chest. "My mum just texted - would you still be able to take me home please?"

Freddie looked at Carly pleading, remembering that he was the one who drove the three to the store. Carly shook her head and laughed. "Go ahead," she said. The cashier finally served their smoothies. She picked up hers and Sam's before Candice could. "I'll take Sam her smoothie - she's probably dying on the sofa in my living room right now."

"Tell her I hope she feels better soon," Freddie said. "I'll stop by later."

"And tell her I'm sorry for the attitude," Candice added, giving Carly a little wave. "I'm sure we can all hang out together soon."

Carly nodded. "I hope so."

But her thoughts didn't match the words she was saying.