Sex lessons with Jack Gilinsky

Chapter 18

Jacks pov

You know how when you're young and people tell you "You don't know what love really is, you're too young to know."

I beg to differ. Amber makes me feel like a whole new person, my past doesn't matter when she's with me. 

After I got off the phone with the guys, I chased amber around the house and literally just played with her. Throwing flour at each other, squirting water bottles at each other, being tackled and just laughing about nothing. 

Her laugh, her eyes, her smiles and the way her nose crinkles when she's trying so hard not to laugh. That's love. It's noticing that her looks don't matter. It's her personality, the way her shine when she talks about something she genuinely enjoy and loves, the way she holds your shirt when she cries, the way she jumps on your back to scare you and kisses your cheek, and it's the way she knows how to make everything seem better when it feels like the world is crashing down. 

It's all of the little things and big things. Your exterior will change but the interior will remain the same. You'll get smarter and become an old soul, but you have to remember that if you fall involve with someones eyes, you'll never forget why you fell in the first place. When their eyes and arms feel like home. 

One day, when I say "I'm going home" I won't have to leave. She is my home and heartbeat all in one. She gives me a reason to stay here. She is my sanity.

As of right now, She is laying in my arms tracing the tattoo on my chest. Her little fingers making her way around the ink. So many thoughts running through my mind and every single one of them is her. 

"What are you thinking about, Jack?" her voice brings me away from my thoughts.

"Nothing, love." i tell her

She sits up, crosses her legs and looks at me. "You know you can tell me anything.. I've told you so much about me. I want to know about you. I want to know your thoughts, want to know how you feel about certain things, I want to know your past, and I want to know what makes you, you." She tells me. 

I look at her and I just smile. "I love you, amber. I just can't risk you hating me for something I can't control now."

She grabs my hands and says "Your past is a past for a reason. I won't judge you based on who you were as long as you aren't him now."

"It's a long story, Amber." I sigh

"Well, i'm here. Always." She says.

"Fine.. What do you want to know?"

"Everything, but start with your past.." she says

"Well, to be honest. I was an asshole, player and a dick to girls and everybody who wasn't in my group.. In my group theres; Taylor, Shawn, Nash, Hayes, Cameron, Aaron, and Jack J. We were all in our little group at my old school. Shawn was the nicest one and honestly didn't belong in the group but he is the one that kept me sane. But Jack J, He is my absolute best friend and we did everything together." I say then start again

"They were all my best friends and we did everything together. You would never see one of us by ourselves. But that was also because we had people after us.. I'm not in a gang or anything.. but we had people who hated us.. mostly because we were players. Well most of us.. But i was the worst until I met this girl who had me head over heels for her.. Her name was Veronica. She caught my attention because she was new to town. I changed my player ways for her, honestly.. But when I thought I loved her. She changed. She played me.. She played the player who really was changing his ways. I really thought I loved her but when I found out she played me to get into the good crowd and be known, I broke.."

" I finally realized how bad it was when i hurt people the way I hurt them. Everything was done. I was still number 1 but I just stopped sleeping around. My group knew about it but we didn't let it ruin what we were. But then she told everybody I wasn't who everyone thought i was and tried ruining my life, so before i knew it. I packed up and moved here. My parents did nothing but work and they never noticed me." I tell her 

"My father cheats on my mom and they hate each other. I don't know why they are still together. They called me a few days ago just now noticing that I left." i say breathy

"But you told me one night that they were gonna be at work all night? Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" She said

"I lied because I don't want you thinking i'm so broken." i said

"Jack, we are both from broken places but that's why were together.. We are but we can fix each other. We're NOT broken by any means. We can't let people make us feel this way. We are not broken and I promise you, Whatever you go through, we go through together." She says as hot tears fall down my face. "Look at me, We are together." She wipes my tear with her thumb

"Always.." I say and hug her so tight. 

"Always." She says and hugs me tighter. 

This is really love.. i think to myself

BAAAAM. A long one, just for you guys. Thank you for being so patient!!