Don't You Worry //Destiel High School//

.18. I'm only human, afterall

//Cas POV//

Sitting in front of my house, hugging Dean like my life depended on it, was a wake up call for me. I was just about to kill myself. Without even thinking what it would have done to Dean or my family. It was really selfish of me to even think about it. And I don't want to cause any more pain then I have already had.

I slowly pull away from Dean and walk back inside of my house. I know he's following me, with him closing the door softly behind me and walking behind me as I make my way to my bedroom.

I collapse on my bed, the loud thump echoing through the room as I lay there. I feel the bed dip down beside me, Dean sitting next to me, probably waiting patiently for me to say something.

I sigh. What was I supposed to say though, 'yay, hey buddy ol pal! I know I just told you I was planning to kill myself but do you mind leaving now? That be great, thanks.'

I snort at the thought. Dean's not gonna leave after how I just spilled my soul all over his face. If anything, I bet he's going to keep sitting there until I fall asleep. He's just that stubborn. I guess I should make the best of this awkward situation then.

I get up and look him in the eye. "Umm..do you want to stay the night?" I ask, my voice catching in my thought. Since it was a Friday, there's no harm in having a 'sleepover' but still. I fell like a teenage girl asking if he wants to stay over. Like, of course we're going to do our nails and braid each others hair and tell each other our deep dark secrets. Gag. Screw it, nevermind.

"You don't have to, I know it sounds really girly and-" I start to ramble but he just starts to laugh. Dean settles down and smiles at me. "Of course, man. I'd love to." I smile back. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let it out, signing in relief. Yeah, my best friend who also happens to be my crush was staying the night. No big deal.

I smile awkwardly after that thought and get up a little too quickly. My feet get tangled underneath me and next thing I know it, I'm falling forwards. I squeeze my eyes shut expecting an impact but instead I feel strong, warm arms grab me. "Easy there, Cas! I know your excited but jeez, be careful." Dean laughs slightly, still holding on to me as I recover. "Sorry." I grumble, mad at my clumsiness.

I pull out of his grip reluctantly and brush myself off, like dirt had magically appeared on me while Dean stared at me. I catch his eyes wandering my body, then pausing slightly at my exposed arms. Awkwardly, I pull my sleeve back down to cover the nasty scars and walk out of the room.

I quickly walk downstairs and go into the small kitchen. Of course, Dean is not that far behind as I grab my phone and call the local pizza place, Luigi's. I order us a pepperoni pizza before hanging up and walking into the living room, running right into Dean. "Sorry!" I shout, walking around him as he giggles at me. I sit down on the sofa and turn on the TV. I watch absentmindedly as Dean comes in and sits next to me. My mind begins to wander while we sit in silence and then I shudder, remembering last night.

I play with my thumbs nervously. By the way Dean looks at me, I can tell he's worried about me. He moves his hands and calmly takes mine in his. "What's on your mind?" He asks. He watches me carefully as I trip over my words. "No-oth-ing-g." I sigh, man am I a terrible liar. "Come on, Cas. We both know that's not true. You can tell me." He cooed, swinging an arm around my shoulders. I glance up at him, seeing if I should tell him what's been haunting me since last night.

The day I came home, I had another nightmare. But it was different than before. I wasn't tied down, or even bleeding. I just stood against one of the walls in the dark basement. I looked around and saw Dean tied to a chair. He looked like how I looked when I was held captive. Bleeding scars lined his muscles, his eyes were blood-shot and druppy from the drugs, and he was barely conscious. I couldn't move or get to him as I saw the dark figure come into view with a knife and an evil smile plastered to it's face. I watched in horror as it stepped in front of Dean and plunged the knife into his chest, a bull's-eye to the heart. I screamed and screamed for it to stop as it repeatedly stabbed Dean over and over again. The figure just smiled at me and laughed, saying I was weak for caring about Dean. It then disappeared, allowing me to run over to him. I cupped his face with my shaking hands and watched the life leave his eyes. I screamed his name over and over again until Michael had shaken me awake.

"Cas?" Dean worriedly asks. I must have zoned out by the look on his face. He moved his hand towards my face and whipped his thumb across my check. He rubbed away a tear that I didn't notice had fallen. "Sorry." I mumble. "Stop apologizing. What's wrong?" I look him in the eye and then turn away. He quickly moves his hand under my chin and turns my face back to look at him.

His eyes say so much to me as I stare into the green orbs. 'You can trust me' they plead. I sigh and give in. "I had another nightmare last night." He let go of my face and sat quietly waiting for me to continue. "It was about you." I say softly, memories flooding my mind. "What happened?" Dean asks quietly. When I don't respond, he nudges me. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves before continuing. "I watched you die, Dean. You were in my place, tied to a chair and stabbed in the heart. I watched the life leave your body and I couldn't do anything about it!" I shout the last part, tears running freely down my faces for the second time today.

Dean pulls me into a hug and shushes me as I sob into his chest. "Hey, I'm alright. See?" I pull back and he gives me his signature cheeky grin as he lifts his shirt to show his perfect and intact chest. I smile back, sniffling and lean back on him. He lays back, getting more comfortable on the sofa as I play with his shirt quietly. He raps an arm around my body as I rest my head against his chest like it was a pillow. I smile against his body as we lay there, a comfortable silence encasing us. "You should get some sleep." Dean whispers. "Okay.." I mumble, sleep hugging my mind as my eyes slowly close. It's quiet for awhile until I hear Dean say something. He said it so softly that I almost missed it.

"Sweet dreams, Cas."