Hate & Lust

Accident

Jared's P.O.V.~

The streetlights cover me as I go down the freeway. It's a colder night tonight and it doesn't help that my blood runs cold just thinking about the conversation I had with Blaire.
I don't understand what's going on with her. Her saying that I didn't actually care about her not only pissed me off but made me upset. Of course I cared about her. She drove me absolutely insane and there wasn't a day where we didn't argue but as much as she thought we were too different... we were actually kind of similar.
Stubborn in our own rights, and big fans of the same kind of music, we actually agreed on a few great things. We are both passionate about change in the country we live in and we both want to make the world a better place. We talked about how evil ivory trade is for what seemed like forever and how much she would love to go with the world wildlife foundation to help animals. She really cared about animals and that was something I admired about her a lot. And other than her constant sassy comments, her beauty, and the death glares when I made her mad, I feel like I should have told her I missed her for her. I missed her brain (because she was super smart), her laugh, her witty comments, her passion about her favorite singers on The Voice. I liked spending time with her. Even though we fought and we couldn't go a day without having conflict, I don't think we hated each other. I certainly didn't think she was a slut or a whore.
"Go back." The voice in my head tells me over and over again.
I ignore it and ignore it until I come to a stop light before I get into the left hand lane where I can turn around and when the turning light turns green I make U-turn back towards her house.
My heart pounds and I get this weird feeling in my gut.
I continue down the highway and look around. There are hardly any people out right now since it's close to midnight however when I look back in front of me, I see headlights... but on the wrong side of the median.
"Shit shit shit! Fuck!" I hear myself yell as I try to turn my motorcycle to the side, trying to get out of the way, before a black pickup truck collides into the back tire, sending me flying. When I hit the ground I feel immense pain and then I feel sleepy.
I look towards the truck. It's steaming. Gas is leaking. I look up into the night sky and then I see nothing.
***

Blaire's P.O.V.~

I crawl into bed after just taking a extremely hot shower and turn the TV on. I watch a couple channels, switching through a lot of them before I land on the local news channel.
"Back to you Stacy." A guy with a stupid grin on his face says.
"Thanks Richard."
Dick. Of course.
"This just in, there as been a crash on the route that heads up towards New York. A drunk man in a black pickup truck collided with another man on a motorcycle about fifteen minutes ago. The police are on the scene and the man on the motorcycle is on his way to the hospital with what witnesses say are almost deadly injuries. The names of the two men are not being given at this time and we will have more information when we learn more about this horrific situation. In other news..." she starts up and I feel like throwing up.
Oh my god.
I grab my phone and call Jared and I'm surprised to hear an answer.
"Hello?" The voice on the other side of the line says.
"Who is this?"
"This is chief officer Daniel Smith. Who am I speaking with?"
"My name is Blaire. I'm friends with Jared Leto. Is he alright. I'm worried about him."
"Ma'am, I'm actually sad to say he is on his way to the hospital. He is critically hurt. I hate to say this but he might not make it."
Tears push out of my eyes again and I'm shaking.
"Ma'am are you still there?"
I make a terrible noise and nod before I can get out a response.
"Yes."
"He could still be in surgery but I would go to the hospital now and let any family members know about the accident."
"Isn't that your job?"
"I'm sorry miss. You're completely correct. I was just thinking the word might get delivered faster by you. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Sorry for snapping. It's been a long day."
"It'll be longer if you go to the hospital tonight. However, I have a feeling he might just want to see your face when he wakes up."
"Or if he wakes up."
"I'm hoping for his family and friends sake that he does. Goodnight ma'am."
I sat in bed for a minutes before I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it before getting up to put some pants on.
I grabbed a hoodie and then put my flip flops on and walked outside and get into my car.
It's not until then that I realize I've been crying... a lot. If I hadn't told him to leave he wouldn't have gotten hurt. If I would have bitten my tongue, let him fuck me and then stay the night, we would be okay. He would be okay. He wouldn't be in a hospital fighting for his life right now if I hadn't just told him how I felt.
I'm on the highway now. Driving eight miles over the speed limit towards the hospital.
The same thoughts go over and over and over again in my head and I'm still crying and all I want to do is see him and make sure he's okay.
"Please be okay!" I yell out loud in my car.
"Please God, let him be okay. If I lived... he can. He's so much better than me. He's such a good man. Don't let him die."