Jon Snow - Game of Thrones Imagines & Drabbles

Jon Snow - "If only hating you was as easy as loving you."

"Jon?" Your voice echoed through the empty halls of Dragonstone. Even though you had been spending the last few weeks of your life here, you had still not gotten used to the darkness, the emptiness and the coldness of this place.

"What do you want?" Jon licked his lips while he looked up at you. Something had changed in him during the last meeting with the Queen. His eyes seemed darker and the slight smile he had allowed to brighten his face had disappeared completely.

"I was just..." You didn't know what you wanted. You most of all didn't know if you could tell him what you really wanted. "I just wanted to..." You closed your mouth again and let out a deep breath. Anyone else would have noticed by now what was going on, but it seemed that you had somehow managed to meet the wrong guy at the wrong moment.

"I asked Daenerys to loan me a ship that can bring you home." Jon locked his glance with yours. "I don't want you to stay here while I'm not there and can't make sure you'll be safe. I want you to leave this place when I do."

"You..." You cocked your head and frowned your eyebrows. "But you are not coming with me to Winterfell?" You swallowed when Jon bent his head and stared at the floor beneath his feet. "Then..." You paused for a moment. "Then where are you going?"

"I'm going to convince Cersei that we shouldn't be fighting each other. We should be fighting the army of the death in the north. Together." He straightened his back and he folded his hands behind his back. "I'm going to catch a white walker."

"You're gonna do what?" You widened your eyes and shook your head, not believing what you had just heard with your own ears. "Do you have a death-wish?" You dropped your jaw and all of a sudden your heart was racing in your chest.

Jon kept silent for a moment. "No one believes that the enemy I'm trying to fight is real. I need to convince them. I can't send someone else there without me."

"You're the king in the north! The people in the north need you! They were already angry that you were going to Dragonstone yourself and now you want to go beyond the wall to catch a white walker yourself. Do you have any idea how angry they will be?" Did he have any idea how angry you were? You had done everything you could to help him, to stay with him.

And now he was sending you home and himself on a suicide mission. "You have to calm down. Please." Jon shook his head and he placed two firm hands on your shoulders. "There is no reason to panic like this."

You rolled your eyes. "You really don't know how to read body language, do you? You really have absolutely NO idea when a woman has lost her heart to you, do you?" You took a deep breath and the veins in your neck were visibly beating. "You want me to just say it?" You raised your eyebrows and shrugged your shoulders. "You want me to say that I love you? Out loud? So you can hear it? So you don't have to read between the lines?"

For a moment Jon didn't say anything. He just stared at you, his knees trembling slightly, his fingers completely restless. "You can't love me." He stuttered, almost trembling over his own words. "You can't just love me."

You rolled your eyes and bit your lip. "I wish I didn't love you, Jon Snow." You closed your eyes and let out a sigh. "If only hating you was as easy as loving you I wouldn't have stood here. I wouldn't have begged you to come with me to Winterfell. I wouldn't be this scared that I will never see you again." You waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "If you die there. If you die in the cold and the snow I hope that you'll realize that you ruined me." You felt the tears rolling down your cheeks and you realized that your were shaking.

"I didn't know that." Jon closed the gap between the two of you and he wrapped his arms around you to press you as tightly to his chest as possible. "I'm sorry that I've never noticed." He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. "I promise I will try everything I can to return to you."