"Who are you?" |Reader Insert| |Attack on Titan| |Book 1|

Hurting

"You broke into the Military Police's headquarters and shot their prisoner?"

"Not like they were going to let me in if I asked."
You were in Levi's office back at HQ. The news of you breaking and entering the MP HQ had spread anonymously through Wall Sina and Rose. Levi was glaring at you with so much intensity, it reminded you of the blinding light you were subjected to.

"What made you do it? Why did you do it?" He asked, his voice not once softening. That caused questions to swirl around inside of you, but you let that slide.

"He killed his wife in an argument. What was I supposed to do?" You inquired, not backing down.

"You could've left it alone."

"Left it alone? His little shits were mentally suffering because of him. You expect me to leave it alone?"
Levi growled and pushed back from his desk, and stood up, ruffling his hair. You followed him with your eyes, never taking them off of him.

"Listen. Just because you killed your father doesn't give you the right to end someone else's."

"I killed my father because he deserved it. Like Francis deserved to get shot in the leg." There was a tense silence between you two. "Don't act like you wouldn't do the same." Levi narrowed his eyes at you, absolutely no emotion in them. This took you back to when he and you had first met.

"No, I wouldn't. Because I'm not reverting back to the monster I used to be," he replied, taking a step towards his desk. Your foot slightly slid backwards.

"What?" You asked, not fully comprehending what just came out of his mouth. Levi sighed in frustration.

"You're going back to your old self, Y/n. Can't you see that? I thought you changed."

"But I did change. If I hadn't, then we are even here?" You retorted. Levi's glare intensified by two times.

"We're here because you had to act on your damn impulse and shoot someone in the leg," Levi's voice slightly raised. You were starting to get irritated as well.

"What did you expect me to do? Did you really think I would just leave it alone?"

"Yes! That's what a normal person does! A normal person comforts people, not kills them. A normal person solves a situation with maturity, not scaring them like some monster."

"Boo you whore. I'm not changing the way I am to please you or anyone else. There are way more fucked up people than me in this world."

"The only ones who are worse than you are titans."
You gasped lightly, but not loud enough to be heard.

"Well then enlighten me, what do you expect me to do?"

"Be normal! Act normal! At least try to behave like a normal person would! For starters, a normal person does not marry two people!"

"As if that's my fucking fault!"

"It is your damn fault!" Levi's voice raised to a yell as he threw the teacup to the floor where it shattered into several shards of glass. Your eyes followed it. "Maybe if you hadn't done what you did in the past we wouldn't be here. In fact, we would be in different places right now. You'd be wherever the fuck, and I would be here, working in peace not being bothered by you." The fact that he could disregard you so easily made you question if he ever cared about you.

"And you just expect me to be able to turn back time? I'm not a god, I can't do that. Whether or not you like it, my past in engraved into my mind and everyone's else's."

"Then goddammit try acting like a human for once!" Levi exclaimed. Your brows furrowed and you lightly shook your head.

"What do you mean by 'human'?" You asked carefully, your irritation slowly vanishing and being replaced by another emotion.

"You're insensitive, you have zero impulse control, and it seems no matter what you do, it always ends up with someone being killed."

"Cut me some slack, shithead. I'm trying, okay? I'm trying."

"No, you're not trying. You're half assing it. Don't you get how hard it is for me to listen to all those snarky, shitty remarks that people make, only for them to redraw them because they're afraid of you killing them? Real humans don't leave that impact on people."

"Hard for you? Hard for you? You've had your share of shitty experiences and I am more than aware of that... but it's not like I had a vacation of a time, either. This eye..." You trailed off, placing your hand over that damned eye. "... this eye is a constant reminder of that time... those years I spent not even knowing if I'd live another day... if I'd find someone who's at least understanding and patient. Unlike you." Levi tch'd, and once his mouth opened, there was no going back.

"It's not my fault your shitty parents didn't protect you like they were supposed to. They shouldn't have even had you at all." You stood there. Absolutely shocked. The words coming out of his mouth was a new experience. It stung. Those words he was saying stung you. It burned. The tightness that was constricting your chest almost rivaled that of when you first saw Rhea for the first time. Except this wasn't fear.

"What? For once you don't have anything to say back? Or should I say, Red Ember since it's obvious you prefer to be an emotionless machine."
The shock on your face was evident at this point. You couldn't even fathom what you were feeling.

"Go and marry those two strangers. I'm sure you're dying to live a lavish life style as a noble while we're sacrificing our lives to protect selfish assholes like you--"
You fist collided with face, sending him falling over the side of his desk and roll into the wall. He slowly sat up and scowled at you, but stopped, noticing two huge things. One, your black eye had a glowing red ring around it. Two, you were crying. Levi had never actually seen you cry. He doesn't even know you were crying when you saved him from that bullet. You weren't sniffling nor were you doing anything. Your eyes showed nothing but anger and hatred towards him, but the tears on your cheeks told a different story. You tilted your head down so that the shadows from your hair were covering your eyes.

"And to think I saved your ass for nothing."
Levi's eyes widened at your abnormal tone of voice. It was quiet and shaky. On the verge of breaking. Like the teacup he had thrown to the floor. Levi had suddenly remembered Elijah's words to him that were lost in his sea of thoughts.

Red is broken. In more ways than one. It'll take great patience and a lot of time to get Red back to how she was originally. Be patient with her. Red is a lot more depressed than you think she is.

Levi swore he would fix you. That he would fit all of your broken pieces back together again even if he had to use himself as an adhesive. Instead... he just created more pieces. Not hearing a response from him, you straightened up and turned around. Levi's eyes widened when he saw you stride towards the door.

"Wa-wait, Y/n," he called, scrambling to his feet. It was too late. The door had slammed shut, signaling you had left with no intention of talking with him anymore. He had done it. He had achieved what Rhea was hoping to do. He had finally broken you enough to the point where you would revert back to your sadistic, merciless ways. You made him make promises he couldn't keep without even doing anything. Just by standing there he was under your trance. A spell that a witch would put on her victim to make them do their bidding. Except he willingly let you. He hated you for that, but loved you for that too. But now he has no more chances of telling you that. You had walked out and had no intentions of walking back in.

Ja ne!

{Ruby Red}