Reunited [A Bensler Fan Fic]

~35~

Olivia's POV

Elliot came home late that night, and he was exhausted, so I decided that our talk could wait till the morning. Once he did wake up, he looked over at me with his blue eyes filled with sleep.

"What are you doing up?" He asked, and I leaned in and gave his lips a gentle kiss.

"We need to talk." I replied, and he frowned.

"About what?"

"The whole baby thing." I replied, and he frowned.

"I don't want to. I just want to get a shower, drink coffee, and go to work." He spoke, before rolling over to try and sleep until the alarm actually went off.

"Jayden thinks that if we have a baby, that we won't be able to give them the love and attention that we give them all now." I breathed, and he rolled back over and searched my face with his eyes.

"What?"

"She told me about her bio family, and how they didn't pay enough attention to her. So, she doesn't want that to happen now, because we have did good so far." I replied, and he sat up.

"Liv, we would never do that." He breathed, and I frowned.

"I know, but she thinks so. Elliot, if we want this to work out at all, then we need to make them understand that we won't forget them because we have a new baby." I replied, and he ran his hands over his hair, and sighed.

"But what if we have a hard time with giving them all attention equally, and they end up hating us?" Elliot asked, and I watched my husband's face become covered with fear.

"Oh, babe." I whispered, as I moved closer to my husband and held him.

"I want a baby, but I don't want my kids to hate me."

---

We sat together at the dinning table, and Elliot was just stirring his cereal around his bowl, over and over again. After I had told him about how Jayden felt, he was quiet, and almost scared about how what he wants, would hurt our kids. 

All three of the kids watched him with intent eyes, but none of them asked what was wrong.

I looked at the clock and sighed.

"Alright, plates  and cups in the sink. Go grab your bags and come grab your lunches once your done." I spoke, and the kids quickly went to do as they were told.

I stood and refilled my mug, before walking over and pouring more into Elliot's cup. He had only drank his coffee. 

"El, want me to make you eggs or something?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No. I'm going to work." He spoke, before downing the coffee in one gulp, before grabbing his jacket and leaving. I frowned as I put his bowl in the sink, and finished packing the kids' lunch.

"Mom, is Dad okay?" Jayden asked, and I looked at her and shook my head.

"He is just upset. Everything will be alright." I replied.

"Is it because of the baby?" Gus asked, as I handed him his Scooby Doo lunch box.

"Sweets, just don't worry about it, alright? Now, Jay and Hanna, grab your lunch boxes. The bus is gonna be here soon."

The kids grabbed their things, and I walked them out to the bus stop, while I had my work stuff under arm.

"Mom, if you guys want a baby, just have one. I'll get used to it." Jayden spoke, as the bus pulled up, and I gave her a gentle smile.

"Thanks, baby. But we haven't decided yet. Have a good day." I spoke, and she nodded as she got on behind Hanna and Gus.

I waved at the younger two as it pulled away, and they gave me silly looks, making me laugh.

I sighed as I walked to my car.

I would miss how they are now. I miss Hanna when she was just a little thing, and would stay home with me, when I only worked half the time I do now.

Or the first month where Martin and I would just sit together and watched as our little girl slept or smiled for the first time.

I wanted that. I wanted that so badly with Elliot, but now, I don't know if he does. He is just as confused about this as the kids.

---

Elliot's POV

As I drove to the precinct, I was stopped in traffic near a park I used to take Gus when he was younger. Kelly used to chase him around, and both of their faces were flushed from laughter.

We also came here towards the end of her second pregnancy, and I would watch as she sat on the bench, her eyes closed against the bright sun, and her arm draped over her stomach.

I missed having a simple life with her. Just the three of us, but then it got complicated when we lost our little girl.

But I wanted a baby. I wanted one with Liv more than words can describe. I've loved her longer than I had loved Kelly, but she had been forbidden. That's why I left. That's why I married Kelly, and why Liv married Martin.

But now we are married, and she isn't forbidden. We can finally have a life together, and we have three kids together, but I want one who has her dark brown hair, my blue eyes, and her smile. I want that, but can I really have it?

---

I arrived at the precinct, and got out. As I walked up, and Liv called my name. I turned and looked at her, and she gave me a loving smile.

"El, can we talk real quick?" She asked, and I nodded. 

We walked back to my car, and climbed in. She held my hand and smiled.

"I have an idea." She breathed.

"Really?"

"I know we didn't want to try it, but we could."

"We could try what? Can't you just tell me?" I replied, and she smiled.

"We could see if the chemo really took away my ability to have kids. And if it did, then we can try to find a surrogate that we want to use, and then have our baby." She breathed, and I smiled, but deep down, I didn't want to see my wife destroyed if we find out she can't have children, because of her stupid cancer.

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