Reunited [A Bensler Fan Fic]

~36~

Elliot's POV

I swallowed hard as I held my wife to my chest. Tears poured down her cheeks, as I caressed her hair. This is what I feared.

"I'm sorry." She sniffled, as she stepped back, and wiped at her tears.

"Hey, don't apologize. We can always find someone who we can trust to carry our baby." I breathed, and she swallowed hard.

"I need to get to work." She croaked, and I pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"Okay. I'll go do the safety day at school. I love you, baby." I breathed, and she turned quickly, as sobs overtook her once again. Why the hell did I have to say baby?

---

I stood at the front of the classroom, while Hanna and Gus proudly looked at me, as my badge was passed around.

"Now, what do you say if someone makes you uncomfortable?" I asked, and the kids all looked at me before screaming.

"NO, GO AWAY!" 

I smiled and nodded.

"Good. Now, if someone says they are here to get you, because your parents said so. Or because your parent is in the hospital, what do you do?" I asked. 

Gus shot his hand up, and I smiled.

"Yes, Gus?" I asked, and he giggled.

"You don't go with them! Find a trusted adult." He grinned, repeating everything I've taught him over the years.

"Good." I smiled.

The teacher looked at me and nodded.

"Any questions?" I mused, and a few kids looked at me. One raised his hand.

"What if the person who hurts you is your Daddy?" He asked, and I felt anger well up in me.

"You tell Gus or Hanna, and they will tell me." I breathed, as I knelt in front of the boy. He nodded slowly, and I ruffled his hair before walking back up front.

"Alright, thanks." I smiled, and they clapped.

The kids ran from the room to head to lunch, and my kids walked up and hugged me.

"Is Mommy having a baby?" Gus asked, and I swallowed hard.

"We are gonna talk about this tonight. I have to get down to Jayden's class to talk to them. So, lets go to the lunch room." I spoke, and they nodded.

Hanna held my hand, and I smiled softly. At least Liv was able to have a baby before the cancer hurt her so badly.

I hugged them both before heading towards the middle school. I sighed, knowing that telling Jayden was going to be harder.

---

I drove to the precinct after the Safety Day at the kids' school. I walked into the squad room, and I saw Liv's door shut, her head hung, and tears running down her cheeks.

She was so disappointed. She wanted to give me a baby, but she couldn't without a lot of medical help. We couldn't afford it, so now she was going to watch another woman carry our child, if she even wants to have a baby now, that she is so disappointed. So angry about this all. It pisses me off, but I would do anything to make my wife happy.

---

Olivia's POV

As soon as I got to the precinct, I told the crew to do paperwork, before I went into my office and continued to cry.

I was lacking as a woman, and it hurt so much! I couldn't even give my husband a child.

Amanda came in to check on me awhile after, but I told her I was fine. I didn't want anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

I closed the curtains on the windows, but left the one on my door opened, but it gave me more privacy.

I heard my door open, and I looked up, ready to tell one of my crew to go away, but instead I stood up and quickly hugged the visitor.

"I heard, and I came as quick as I could. Elliot was so bummed." She spoke, and I started to cry again.

"Casey, I have no idea why all of this bad shit happens to me." I whimpered, and she rubbed my back gently, before pushing me away and moving towards one of the chairs in front of my desk. I sat next to her and she sighed.

"Cancer doesn't discriminate." She spoke, and I wanted to punch her.

I know that it doesn't, but in my life, I still feel like all the shitty things happen to me.

"Casey, ever since I had Hanna, I've wanted to give her a sibling, and now she has a brother and a sister, but no one that shares her blood. But if we had a baby, we would have a baby that would share blood with the youngest. But I can't have kids."

"Not with treatments?" She asked.

"Ones that would fuck up my body and our bank account." I frowned deeply.

"Well, what can I do for you two?" She asked.

"I have no idea. Just talk to me?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Of course." She spoke, as she smiled gently. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

As we sat, we talked about the kids, something that even if I was upset, still brought me so much joy. She kept trying to make me laugh, but it didn't work.

"You haven't caught a case, right?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Nope. Nothing yet." I sighed, and I know it must sound bad, but I was wishing for one to come in so I could get my mind off of my fertility.

"Lets go find Alex, and we can get something to eat. Just like old times."

---

I sat with my best friends, and Alex got caught up with Casey. I sat silent, my mind wandering, until Casey elbowed me.

"Liv." She spoke, and I turned to look at her.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"What if one of us carried a baby for you and Elliot?" Alex asked, and I shook my head.

"I couldn't ask you guys to do that. It would be too much. You're both busy with work, and dating." I sighed, as I looked down at my hands.

One thing that sucked about them being my friends was that they were also younger, not by a lot, but still. They still have years of where they can have their own babies, and I can't.

"I'll take some time off of work. If it means my friend can have the baby she wants." Alex smiled gently, and I bit my lip.

"But why?" I asked.

"Because you are such an amazing person. With what you do everyday, and then how you can still smile and be a great mother." Alex smiled, and tears ran down my cheeks.

"I don't know what to say."

"Talk to El and get back to us." Casey smiled, before leaning over and hugging me.

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