The only thing to fear is fear itself

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Ian's POV:
There I was with monitors beeping, things going into me, sticky things on me, and a mask over my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see the room was bright and blinding almost. I squinted as my eyes adjusted, "Ian" a soft heavenly voice said as I felt my hair be moved out of my face.

I mumbled a little as my focus adjusted. "Pam" escaped my lips. "Yeah it's me muffin" she smiled as she gave me a kiss. "What happened after they did the surgery" I asked lifting my hand up to her face.

"well they hocked you up to all of this and they said that your lungs had blood in them and gunk, so they've got it out but they said when they took an X-ray they saw that there was a patch of something which they thought could of been lung cancer cells" she explained as tears started to role down her cheeks.

I wiped them with my thumb, "so they did some tests and now we are just waiting for the results" she sighed, I could see that she was worried scared and over all just out of it.

"Pam, listen I know I should of gone to the doctors or the hospital, when it first started happening, but I guess that maces 16th birthday is ruined because we weren't there" I sighed as I picked up her gentle hand as I cupped it in mine.

"No he had a lot of fun apparently, and charlie said that someone ate the cake anyway" she explained "well that's ok, do they know I'm here" I asked. She nodded wiping her tears with her free hand.

"Let's just hope it's a tumour and they can remove it" I smiled trying to calm hers and my nerves. "I hope so, I don't want you taken away from me because of it" pam said as she gave me a kiss.

Sooner or later a doctor with the biggest wart I've ever seen on his eyebrow with a mole on his chin, walked in. He had a heavy expression on his face.

"Well mr hecox you gave us quite a fright there" he said in a nasally, raspy voice. "Just give it to be straight" I sighed "ok, I'm sorry but the results came back positive, you have lung cancer" he sighed as felt pams grip on my hand tighten.

"And at the stage that it is in, can be treated but if we had caught it earlier we could of used more treatments" he explained. I nodded, "we've estimated that it will be about a month or two, that you have to live, I'm sorry, we'll do everything in our power to help you, I'll leave you to let it sink in" he said as he left the room.

I felt my heart drop, pam had flung herself on me sobbing I rapped my arms round her, as I rubbed her back. I looked up at the ceiling, everything was silent apart from pams sobs.

I sighed as it sunk in the fact that I will never watch mace grow up or see any grand children from either of the kids. I will never Touch Jessica Alberts left boob, or grow old-der with pam the one who started this whole roller coaster of life.

I kissed her forehead "it will be ok" I said with a faint smile, she looked up her eyes red and puffy. "No it won't Ian, I don't want you taken away from me" she said through her tears. "Hey hey hey, we will get through this together ok" I said softly as I wiped her tears away.

1 month later

Everyday has been hell, all I do is cough and wheeze. The treatments don't help, each one makes me more ill and feeling rotten.

I sat on the bench outside looking at sun start to set, "Ian" pams voice called I turned to see her at the back door "come quick" she smiled giddy as she ran back in. I groaned as I started to walk back to the house.

I've been depressed and I mean I'm in the biggest hole of it. I've tried everything and nothing is working.

I walked in "come on" pam said as she pulled me into the lounge. "What what what" I asked to see mace sitting with his mini pam. I call delia mini pam because I have a feeling that he's going to be the same as me.

"Dad look" he smiled he had the same excitement in his eyes from when he was a kid. I looked towards where he was pointing, I could see the little movement of his toes. I felt my eyes widen a little, "a-are you doing that" I asked as I felt a little smile appear on my face.

He nodded as he smiled as wide as a long boat. "I told you I could do it" he smiled, it flashed me back to when he was in that hospital bed, his little smile and his face looking up at me. I remembered what it was like when he was little and he used to run around hiding as we all tried to find him.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest, I felt it before walking out, I looked at the time '13:48', "shit I missed my tablet time" I groaned to myself as I walked up the stairs.

My chest started to get heavy. I made my way to the bathroom, as I opened up the cabernet, as the pain got worse. I managed to get the right ones and taken them before they get any worse.

They did this happen to me, what did I do to disservice this. I started to cry as I fell back into the sink and the bath as I slid down, before berrying my face in my knees.

"I need to end this pain and torture" I sobbed

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