Monster (A Supernatural Fanfiction) [1]

Chapter 30: Broken Promises and Birthday Wishes

Rundown Motel in Palo Alto, California

January 24, 2010

Sam had gone running early in the morning, a usual routine for the younger Winchester brother. Cassandra normally noticed as she was up before anyone else due to her nightmares that never failed to keep her from sleeping. She was just relieved that being a Nephilim meant that she didn't need as much rest otherwise she'd pass out on hunts from exhaustion and lack of food.

Dean was sound asleep next to the blonde, soft snores escaping past his smooth lips, his arm tucked under Cassandra's head and the other resting above his own head. He seemed relaxed and at peace for once, the stress, shock, and exhaustion from their visit to nineteen-seventy-eight finally catching up with them.

Cassandra's gaze lingered on Dean's face and she took in every detail she could. She tried to memorize every freckle and little scar and she only wished he would open his eyes so that she could get lost into his piercing green disney princess eyes. She settled for her own eyes running along his chiseled jawline before she reached out, lightly tracing her finger across his skin. She let out a sigh. She was torn between waking him and letting him sleep.

Because it was his birthday, the blonde decided on the latter and silently rolled out of the motel bed, grabbing her backpack and locking herself in the bathroom. Her heart lurched in her chest when she realized she wouldn't be getting any texts or calls from her mother that day. There would be no tears exchanged on the phone, no sobs crackling in the speakers, and no stories about the girl known as Jessica Moore. Cassandra didn't have anyone to call to wish a happy twenty-seventh birthday to. That girl had died almost five years earlier at the hands of Azazel.

Cassandra's breath shook as she leaned against the bathroom counter and she forced herself to look in the mirror. She and Jess shared the same blonde hair as they had gotten it from their mother, but the blue of their irises were just a few shades off as Cassandra assumed she had inherited hers from one of Michael's vessels. He seemed to frequent using men with midnight hair and piercing blue eyes as vessels and she could assume that it was how he wished to look as a human.

"It wasn't your fault," Cassandra whispered to her reflection in the mirror, her fingers curling over the edge of the countertop as she fought back the tears. "She was halfway across the country and you were asleep. You had no idea. You were oblivious to the supernatural world and who Jess' boyfriend truly was. It wasn't your fault." No matter how many times the blonde repeated those words to herself she couldn't make herself believe them. Her breath continued to shake with every word and she could see the white in her eyes start to tint into a light shade of red, tears welling and glossing over before she could even fight them back. "It wasn't your fault." Her voice cracked and she choked back a sob, her hand flying up to her mouth to muffle the sob that ended up escaping past her lips. She was careful not to wake Dean since he deserved some rest.

Cassandra slowly sunk to her knees on the bathroom floor, her hand still covering her mouth to silence her cries. No matter what she did she couldn't seem to stop.

Memories of Jess flooded her mind as her body shook before it finally ended with just one last memory; except it wasn't exactly a memory but a dream. Cassandra replayed watching her sister burn over and over in her mind until she couldn't take it anymore. She scrambled across the bathroom floor and grabbed her backpack, unzipping it and rummaging through it until she pulled out one of her razors from her toiletry kit.

She hissed in pain when one of the tiny blades cut her thumb but she ignored it and continued to work one of the blades off before throwing the pink piece of plastic to the side. She held the blade above her wrist but stopped, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth in thought.