Terrifyingly Strange Thoughts of the Cool Type: Part 3 ((closed/finished))

Past Things (Now Present)

This is some god damn adult contact that's about to go down.

So last month, maybe a week or week and half ago I was ordering a pizza over the phone because I had some strange craving going on and I couldn't wait patiently enough for my chefs to do it so I decided to call a commoner's restaurant instead because I was being rude and told the chefs they took to long and that commoners were more reliable.

Well I called and ordered the strangest shit on my pizza... except I said... "Can I have a small penis with anchovies, garlic, pineapple, bell peppers, and ham?"

The worse part is is that the boy on the other side said "I'm sorry we only have a large penis, and I don't think I could fit all those toppings on it."

I died.

I fucking died.

Well I got my pizza then, but now it gets worse.

Akito and I went to the pizza place because it was actually rather good. We asked them if they could deliver two large pepperoni pizzas to our address when they're done. We gave the cashier boy the address then he looked at it, gasped, and screamed "IT'S THE REALLY RICH PENIS GUY!"

Akito got confused, everyone there started looking at us, and the employees from the back flocked to the front to take a peek at the "really rich penis guy".

It gets worse.

Remember Antonio from the bus? He worked there.

He. Worked. There.

I was mortified.