When?

3. "He wanted me to do drugs, Harry."

Carrying her into her house, gave me a certain form of pleasure. She was drunk, and she was throwing up all over the place, but the beauty in the situation made my skin tingle with chills. I was holding her in my arms, her hair was tickling my cheeks, I was the one who got to carry her up to her room and put her to bed, I was the one she trusted her drunken self around. Me. Little, old, Harry. As I cover her small figure with her favorite blanket, I hear the sound of sniffles filling the room, and I could have sworn I could hear my heart physically breaking in my chest. Judith was never the one to cry. During our 10 years of friendship, I couldn't remember seeing her cry except once when we were 11 and her dog got ill and passed away, but that was it. Hesitantly sitting at the end of the bed, I remained silent, unable to form any proper words.

" He just left me there. He didn't think of the filthy crowd surrounding us, or of the fact that it was almost 11, and I was drunk beyond comprehension. He just left, Harry, like I am nothing. He did not pick me up from the streets, he has no right to treat me like I am some worthless whore. I am his girlfriend for fucks sake." As raged as her voice was, it had never been so broken.

" I know, Jude." I attempted to sooth her, but my words went unnoticed by her.

" He wanted me to do drugs, Harry. He had coke, and he tried it, and then passed it to me, and when I said no, he snapped and left me. Like, do I have to be a fucking drug addict to fucking be enough?" I didn't know if her question was directed towards me, or to him, or maybe to herself. The bitterness lingering in her tone caused me to approach her, laying a firm arm on hers to turn her around for her eyes to meet my own. That sight was one I'd never dare forget; her tears reddened by tears, her cheeks flushed, mascara molding with her tears into a dirty-looking mess. My once firm aura, softened at her brokenness, as a sigh went past my lips.

" He doesn't deserve you." I whispered, my fingers imprisoning a hair lock behind her ear, as a humorless laugh rocked through her.

" And what's so good about me that he doesn't deserve? I am a fuck up, Harry. We both deserve each other." My mouth was agape but my mind was shattered, torn apart by this dark side of Judith that I had no idea how to tame, nor handle. She turned to her side again, her back facing me.

" I- I guess I'll let you get some sleep. Would you like me to stay over tonight, or would you rather I leave?" Her sobs grew more intense, her breathing growing more uneasy.

" No, no, stop crying, fuck. Please don't cry." I pleaded, turning her to face me yet again, only to find her wiping at her eyes, giggling through the tears. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, attempting to evaluate her mental state.

" Did you just say fuck?" She questioned, a smile ever so amused playing on her lips, causing me to chuckle embarrassedly.

" What can I say, I've been friends with you for too long." I reasoned, laying my tired body beside her own, staring at the ceiling, because if I had to look into those sad eyes of hers, I would have lost all control. And we couldn't afford that, now, could we? We stayed there in peaceful, relatively awkward silence until she spoke up.

" I was right to say no though, right? I mean, do you think I should have given it a try? Was I rude to him?"

" Jesus, Judith, of course not. This is drugs we're talking about, you can't simply give it a try. He's such a prick for even offering that. I can't believe him." I could feel the unfamiliar rage storming within me, as I turned to my side, Jude mirroring me right after, so that now, we were both facing one another.

" If something like that ever happens again, just give me a call, alright? I'll pick you up before he gets to leave first and I'll show him how to treat a lady." Her giggles filled my ears yet again, bringing that inevitable smile to my face.

" I am so not a lady, Harry. I mean, even you are girlier than I am." 

" Hey, that's not a nice thing to say to the one who practically saved your life."

" Oh stop exaggerating everything. You're such a drama queen." Her laughter was unstoppable now, as she continued to tease me. I didn't mind though, her laughter was something I'd give my life for. Judith was something I'd give my life for.

" But, I don't know what I would have done without you." She then said, leaning closer to me, her lips almost brushing against my own, her long eyelashes tickling my cheeks, her hot drunken breath fanning my face. I gulped, paralyzed by the short distance between us both.

" You have one hell of a jawline, Harry, did you know that?" She whispered.

" I-"

" And those lips," Her fingers slowly moved along my lips, which had gone dry.

" Judith," I half warned, half pleaded, for her to put me off my agony.

" I love when you say my full name." My mind had completely gone blank, instead, my heart beats picked up pace, my eyes closing as if memorizing that very moment, taking in that overwhelming sensation. I didn't need to think. I didn't want to think. I wanted to feel. She made me feel.

" I really want to kiss you right now." She whispered, and as much as I wanted to give in, that was my wake up call. This was Judith. My too late-when. And she had to stay that way because I couldn't bare the possibility of her arousing again, because it was always accompanied by hope, hope that would come crashing down when she finally shuts me down. Hope that would come stumbling down when I lose her, once and for all. So I pull away, rising from the bed, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

" I'll sleep on the couch downstairs in case you needed anything. Goodnight." I said, avoiding her confused eyes, as I walked out of her room, shutting the door behind me. I was this close to cracking, to surrendering, to letting go, which was a luxury that I couldn't afford. I soon heard the sound of her throwing up, but I had to force myself away from that toxic room, from her, because I couldn't afford feeling again.

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A/N: Hope you like this, a bit longer than the usual but yeah, aiming for 50 reads before updating again :)