Once Yoongi got home he hesitated to read Hoseok's books.
It took him almost 2 hours to get through them and he was a mess.
He could barely see through tears and he couldn't stop his lip from trembling as sobs fell out in strings.
The first few books were only drawings as Taeri had said but once he got to the newest looking one as you got deeper into the book there were small entries about Hoseok's days.
They started when Hoseok was 14.
They were silly, they would say how him and Taehyung had a race down the street or how him and Namjoon went crab hunting.
Once it got to the end of last year, Yoongi felt his emotions get the better of him as he read about Hoseok's feelings.
19th December 2016 I'm starting to get weird feelings about Yoongi hyung, he makes me nervous and my heart race what does that even mean?
25th December 2016 It's Christmas today and Yoongi got me the best gift, it was the figurine I wanted. The others got me stuff too but not as good as Yoongi's.
1st January 2017 The year went by fast it's already 2017 I wonder what this year holds for me.
12th January 2017 I can't stop thinking about Yoongi, he's always on my mind and he makes my palms sweat. I asked eomma what that meant and she says it happens when we like someone. Do I like Yoongi?
22nd January 2017 Taeri got angry at me today, he told me he doesn't think Yoongi's a good influence because he got a call saying I ditched psychology class. I mean I hate the class anyway, that teacher Mr San always gives me the creeps. He stares at me and I hate it. Sometimes I wish my eomma never married Taeri.
9th February 2017 My birthdays in 9 days! I'm so excited I'll finally be 16. I wonder what my birthday will be like.
12th February 2017 Yoongi and I went to the arcade today. We invited the others but they were all busy and I'm glad honestly because Yoongi and I had time to ourselves. He bought me lunch and we played all the arcade games it was such a fun day. I think I love Yoongi more than a bestfriend.
17th February 2017 My birthday is tommorow! All the boys are having a small party for me with only us. I'm so glad I have them all as my bestfriends, I don't know what I'll do without them. And I've made a decision, I do love Yoongi more than a friend but he can never know that because I doubt he'd like me that way.
18th February 2017 I'm finally 16! I'm so happy for tonight, the boys told me they got ice cream cake which is my favourite. I honestly thought turning 16 would feel more exciting but it's just like a normal day. I wonder what this year has in store for me, I wonder what my time as a 16 year old will bring.
The last entry completely shattered Yoongi.
Hoseok was so excited for his birthday and it was going well until that night, he wishes he could go back in time and do so many things.
He wished he could've confessed to Hoseok, wished he made Hoseok stayed.
Please come home Hoseok.
an: thank you for all the support on this book xx
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