Forever Yours

Secret Girlfriend

Octavia

"Is everyone ready?" I asked everyone....... And by everyone I mean Raven.

"Yes ma'am!" Raven said, saluting.

I managed not to laugh and turned towards the door of mine and Lincoln's room. "Then operation Find Bellamy's Secret Girlfriend is a go!" I said, raising my fist into the air.

I dashed towards the door with Raven following. Opening the door we headed for the Skaikru common room. We planned to interrogate some of the friendlier Skaikru members and if we were lucky see Bellamy. Actually, that sounded like a joke. The only time I'd seen Bellamy in this trip is when they first arrived (and he'd dashed off as soon as he thought would be okay) and at dinner that first night. Noises of things do not count.

We opened the door to the common room calmer. Most of the Skaikru were out exploring Polis since they were departing in a couple days - or planned to at least. I was surprised, however, when it was empty. I knew Watson had been confined to his room for safety reasons - for both him and the warriors he might be stupid enough to attack.

I frowned when there was literally no one in here.  Just to be sure, we waited a few minutes.  No one.

I groaned in frustration, "Why is it the one day I actually want to be surrounded by Skaikru no one's around?" I asked in frustration.

"I have no clue, where should we go next?"

"Bell's room - if it's quiet." I said.

"Alright!  Lead the way!" Raven said.

Nodding I led us out of the common room and into Bellamy's room.  Luckily no one was here so there were no...  scarring images, to say the least.

"Check for anything that's a clue." I told Raven, heading towards the bed.

I heard Raven start searching and tuned her out, focusing on my task.  I went through Bellamy's end table and found nothing.  I moved on when Raven let out a "Aha!"

"What is it?" I asked excitedly, whirling around.

"It looks like a journal." Raven said, handing it to me.

It was a simple brown, leather-bound journal.  It looked to be of Trikru making, which isn't surprising since that's the closest Clan to Skaikru who would make these things.

I opened it to the first page.

"I don't even know the date, I understand why Grounders don't bother with them other than important dates." I read the top.

"Definitely Bell's." I said.

Raven nodded.

Reading out loud, I read on.  "I got a letter from a hawk, from her.  It's odd and I'm not sure what to do about it.  Part of me says to ignore it and the rest of me wants to hear her out.  I keep telling myself the facts but I can't seem to make myself care - I just want to know why.  Honestly, I think I partly just want to see her again.  I want to know why she did it.  I might go, but it could be dangerous.  I mean, middle of the night and alone.  Perfect time for an ambush.  I don't know."

"A hawk?  And who's her?" Raven asked.

"A hawk - you know - a type-"

"I know a hawk is a type of bird!  I've never seen one in more than pictures though."

"For your second question, I have no clue."

Raven nodded and I flipped the page.  "So I did it.  I met her.  I wrestled with myself for the first two and a half days and I went.  I got my answers from her at least.  Something tells me that it won't be the last secret meeting I have with her, if last night is what it's like when I'm supposed to be angry at her.  I'm not sure how I feel about her, I definitely don't feel for her like I did Gina but it's similar - and kind of scary,  I can still see her face, full of awe when I first showed up and relief and hope when we parted and I said the 'May we meet again' Grounder fair well with a 'soon' on the end."

"So I'm getting that this is his secret girlfriend." Raven said.

I nodded and flipped the page.  I skipped a few so that he wasn't just going over secret meetings with the unnamed woman - he was good at that part.  I stopped when I reached a page that had different short phrases and some sort of coded letter after it.

"Maybe I don't care what the others would think.                               N

How I feel doesn't care what anyone else thinks or feels.                 N

I should have, but I can't.                                                                                N"

Raven interrupted me here.  "I should have but I can't?  What is that supposed to mean?"

"It probably means that he should have stopped something but he can't." I replied, then returned to reading.

"I wish I knew a way to stay with you always and never part.         N

I want you and no other.                                                                                  N

I will serve you with every breath.                                                               N

No other has my loyalty above you.                                                          SO?

If life says I have to choose, then I choose you.                                    SO?

Not even death can take me from you, I'd die ten times over for you.            N

I can't live without you.                                                                                   SO?

I love you.                                                                                                                Y"

I gaped at the last sentence.

"Who the hell is this?!?" I exclaimed.

"I don't know.  But assuming that these were all the ways he tried to tell her that he loved her he danced around just flat out saying it for a while." Raven stated.

"That's obvious but who is he saying it to?!?" I said, slightly irritated at her.

"I don't know O.  Maybe he'll tell you when he's ready for you to know."

I sighed, grumbling under my breath before speaking to her, "Maybe, I just wish I knew." I said, flipping through the pages that were filled (which after the page with the phrases was two) to see if he'd let her name slip.  No luck.

"I guess we'll just have to keep a sharp eye and ear out." I said.

"Yeah." Raven agreed with a sigh.

(Happy Thanksgiving everyone!)