One Final Wish

Chapter Thirty Three

I sit here in the front room waiting for Aunt Sarah to arrive. We're going to the hospital today but my family doesn't know. All they know is that me and Auntie Sarah will hang out. I'm so nervous that I keep zoning out thinking what will happen later at the hospital. Am I ready for this? I don't know anymore. I snap out of my thoughts when I heard a car beeping outside. It must be Auntie Saz. I stood up and walk towards the window to see who it was. It's Auntie Sarah. Mam came out of the kitchen looking at me.

"Mam, I have to go" I said walking over to her to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay pet, Take care yea?" She smiled

"Yeah mam... Bye" I said walking towards the door walking out and ran towards Aunt Saz car and got in. When I got in, Auntie Saz immediately held my hand making me look at her.

"You ready for this?" She said. I sigh loudly and nodded. She gave me a small smile then started driving. The drive to the hospital was quiet no one knows what to say. I'm getting more nervous. It's like I want to go back to the house and just stay there and I don't have to know how sick I am. After a few minutes, We arrived at the hospital. Aunt Sarah held my hand as we walked in the double doors and straight to the reception.

"Hi, What can I do for you?" The nurse smiled.

"We have a scheduled check up for Dr. Smith." Auntie Saz said.

"Oh, just wait a sec and I'll check." We waited for her as she typed something in her computer. "You can go to his office now" She smiled.

"Thanks" We walked through the hallway as we find my doctor's office. When we found it, we walked in.

"Oh hi, Carter. I'm expecting you" I gave him a small smile then we heard Aunt Sarah's phone ringing but she ignored it as we go sit by the chair. Then it rang again.

"Just answer it." I said and she sighed.

"I'm just gonna go ouf" She said as she walked out of the door holding her phone closing the door behind her. I turned to the doctor and he smiled.

"Should we wait-" I cut him off by shaking my head.

"I'm the one who's sick" I said. He sighed.

"How sick?" I asked. He look to his papers and looked at me sadly. My heart is pounding.

"Well, as said by your nurse, your latest blood counts are low... You'mr immune system is in collapse..." I swallowed the lump forming behind my throat. "The cancer is everywhere" I want to cry but no tears are coming out.

"How long?" I managed to say.

"I don't want to be drawn into time tables" He said sadly.

"My brother's birthday is in three weeks... Will I get to celebrate with him?" He looks at me sadly.

"No"I don't know now what to feel. I'm still trying to progress all this things in my head. I felt tears in my eyes so I stormed off and run. I run and run and I don't care if anybody sees me. I don't care that I left Aunt Sarah at the hospital. I run home. I want to break down now. I regret going to the doctor. I got home and went straight to my room. There's no one home and I'm the only one who's here. I looked around my room and I smashed anything I see. Throwing it all to the floor. All pictures, cd's everything, all broken. When I got tired I sat on the floor and rest my back against the wall looking at the mess I've made. Why am I not crying? Is it because I'm all out of tears. Is it brcaise my body won't allow them to cone out or is it because I'm already numb and I can't feel anything. I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and turned it off. I just want to be alone right now. Staring at the things that are on the floor, I can't help to think on how is it like. Will it hurt. Can I still walk. Pathetic questions playing around my mind. Few monents later I heard Carson calling my name.

"Carter, are you here?" He said but I didn't respond then I saw him walked in my room and looked at the mess. He looked at me.

"What the hell?" He said. I just sit there ignoring him. "You crazy little brat. Why didn't you tell me you were going to the hospital?" I started tearing up but I didn't look up to him. "I should've been there to hold you. I should've been there to protect you when you get scared" He's voice cracked as he sit on the bed and that's when I look to him. " I could've helped you, I can't help you" He cried. I stood up immediately and sat beside him hugging him. "I don't want you to go baby sis. Take me with you. I don't want you to go" He sobbed I rubbed his back and feeling the tears fall of my eyes. I didn't say anything and juat let him to let it out." I don't want you to go. Please don't leave us" I hugged him tight and wiped away my tears. I've never seen Carson cry like this before and it's killing me. I can now see the vulnerable side of Carson. He's usually the strongrest one but now he broke down. He cried and cried on my shoulder then mam, dad and Aunt Sarah came in my room. They looked at us with sad eyes. I looked away tears started to fall again.

"Sshh, I'm still here." I said as I rubbed his back. Mam and dad walked towards us while Aunt Sarah went downstairs to get some water.

"I won't go anywhere" I reassured him. His sobs died down and pulled away from me wiping my shoulder. I wiped away his tears and smiled at him. Mam is tearing up so dad hugged her. I fixed Carson's hair smiling at him.

"It will be alright" I said. Aunt Sarah went back with a glass of water and gave it to Carson and he drank it placing the glass on the bedside table and he stared at me. I Stood up and held Carson's hand pulling him up to his feet and hugged mam and dad. O noticed Aunt Sarah watching us. So I pulled away and give Aunt Sarah a tight hug.

"Thanks for everything" I whispered as she hugged me tight.