I'll be home for Christmas

Chapter 66

Chapter 66 - I'll be home for Christmas

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.

Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] and Feebes86 for betaing and pre-reading.

Bella was so tired, but she had to make the shield work. Every minute of the day when she wasn't with Josh or learning to ride a wolf with Seth, she was working at pushing it out to its greatest limit. It was so difficult. She knew the entire battle rested on her holding it for as long as she could. Long enough to protect them from the debilitating powers of Jane and Alec. And maintaining it for long enough for the wolves to try and take them out.

When Josh was there, she could cover him relatively easily. More so if he was touching her. The same way that she had shielded his thoughts from Edward, the first time they met. But without him, she felt like she was wrestling with a giant, invisible rubber band. She had a creeping panic that they would all just die and it would all be her fault. She imagined her and Josh standing alone against a sea of dark cloaked shapes. The shield didn't stop a physical attack.

And she knew Josh had other shaman jobs to do during the battle, so she had to stretch her defense on her own.

Making it harder, was that Edward was often present at these sessions. He would tell her when he couldn't read the mind of someone she was trying to blanket.

The wolves were all needed elsewhere; patrols or battle training and using Edward's gift was the easiest way to tell the extent of the protection. But she would finish up sweating from the exertion and the worry.

She would get it and then it would slip away again.

This night, they were practicing on the people eating in the tribal hall. Edward couldn't be close to her because then he was under the umbrella with others and could hear their thoughts. She was glad of the small distance sometimes. He had given up trying to talk to her about their relationship but she often caught him staring at her with that intensity he had shown years ago. He would point at people as she covered them.

Wrestling with it, she felt it snap back and with a cry she lowered her head to the table and rested her aching forehead on her arms.

"Try this," she heard.

It was Old Quil with another murky looking bottle of liquid.

"Does this help headaches?" she asked him.

"Of course," he said.

"He's lying," said Edward.

"I know," she replied, reaching for the concoction. The shaman was always giving her herbal teas and brews to try and help her.

She grimaced as she took a sip. "Ugh. They are getting worse, I swear."

"Drink it all, this time," the old man insisted.

"All of it?"

"Yes." He gave her a worried look as he sat down opposite her. "And eat something."

"Yes, mom."

Esme must have heard him. A minute later Collin appeared, carrying two plates. Her plate, piled with less food that it usually was, was placed in front of her. Esme was learning.

It was still too much for her. Bella sighed.

"I'll help you eat that," the young wolf said as he slid in next to her.