Chapter 15: Hidden in the Shadows

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(Y/N)

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(Trigger(?) warning, I will tell you when it is over)

Laughter echoes darkly around me, I'm curled into a ball on the floor looking bleary eyed up at a shadowed man with an old leather belt snapping as he tugs it in his rough and scared hands. "Be brave Little Monster, your getting what you deserve for killing my wife" He growls his face finally shifting into the light.

Suddenly the whole situation flickers and the man in front of me morphs into Levi and we were standing in the forest. This time I am sitting on my knees cradling a wrist that was searing with long felt pain, my heart ached as I looked at Levi's tearstained face his eyes dark with grief boring into me.

"Why did you leave me?" he whispers slowly fading into silvery mist.

My eyes widen and I try to stand up and touch him, hold him, show him I'm here for him. I can't stand all I can do is reach out weakly and my fingers part the mist around them as it floats away on an insistant breeze.

"I love you" I whisper my voice cracking on the last syllable.

The last half of his wounded and teartracked face changes from blame to a sad smile and he whispers something in response but it is carried away by a sudden gust of wind that blows leaves up and around us as well as disaperating the rest of him.

(Ok it's over)

I sit up quickly, my shoulders shaking and my face wet with tears. I take deep breaths and shakily stand and go wash my face. I take another gulp of air to attempt to calm myself and I look up at my image in the mirror above the basin of water that quivered in my grip. I see the usual dark circles under my eyes though they were darker than before, my (E/C) eyes stare out at me, shadowed with grief and exhaustion.

I push myself away from the basin and put on my coat going to the cafeteria to find some tea to drink 'cause I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon.

I finally find my way through the dark halls to the cafeteria with minimal bumps and scrapes. I fumble for the teapot but find a warm hand resting on the table instead.

"Why didn't you light a candle or something Levi" I ask lighting the candle that was on the table casting us in a dim flickering glow.

"I didn't feel the need to, besides I'm the only one ever up at this unholy hour"

"Tch, right" I grumble pouring some tea for myself after realizing levi had already made some.

"So what are you doing here?" He asks crossing his legs and taking a sip of his tea

I roll my eyes 'He's still the same Levi' I think with a small smirk before responding "My teapot was broken by an idiot cadet who knocked it out of my hands in the halls"

"Jeager? Yesterday?" he asks with a smirk of amusement.

"Yup"

"He was running from Hanji" Levi chuckles

"Who wouldn't be" I respond with a bark of laughter that was unnaturally loud in our dark and empty environment

He chuckles and we drink our tea in the lull in the conversation that followed.

"Are you still having nightmares about them?" I ask gently 'About Isabel and Farlen...... wait who are they?'

He looks at me surprised and nods looking down at the mug in his hands "Are you?" he asks

"My nightmares have shifted but they are still basically the same" I say quietly glad he couldn't see the faint redness that colored my cheeks.

"Care to share?" He asks gently

I snort lightly "Thank you but no.. you don't share either I only know what they are about."

"They tell me what they are about, I don't need to know the content"

I simply shake my head and draw my legs closer to me I let out a short laugh "No wonder I can't see anything" I mutter

He tilts his head at me

"I forgot my glasses on my bed stand"

He chuckles lightly "Too bad you have to rely on those things"

"Meh" I say with a shrug "It gets a little annoying but it's better than being blind"

"Want me to go get them for you?" He asks

"Na I can survive being blind and having a small headache until I go back to my room"

"Alright" he responds with a shrug

During the second comfortable silence of our conversation my mind drifts off to my nightmare and I'm soon sucked into my thoughts, unconscious of my face contorting in grief and longing and of Levi watching me with concern.

"(Y/N)?" He asks softly reaching out and gently placing his hand on my shoulder while taking my shaking mug.

I snap out of it and look at him surprised to see the worry on his face.

"You shouldn't keep things bottled up" he says gently

"You do" I retort hugging my knees

"And yet you have managed to figure out all of it" he says with a soft rueful smile

"It's easy to see things in others that you have seen in yourself" I mumble "That tough thing... I recognize it even if I've never been very good at it.."

He smiles sadly looking so much like he had in my dream it made my heart hurt "So you try to be happy" He concludes "Hide the breaks in smiles..." he murmurs gently

I nod not trusting myself to speak incase I fell apart the and there.. I worried he would think I was weak if I did. I bite my quivering lip hoping he wouldn't notice.

"How long?"

I hold up 3 fingers

"3 years?"

I shake my head "It s-started when I wa-was 3" I say quietly cursing my stutter

His eyes widen slightly "The nightmares?"

I nod slowly my eyes tearing up despite my efforts to hide it so I just bury my face in my knees so he couldn't see.

Suddenly I feel his strong arms wrapped around me in a comforting hug and I instinctively lean into him. "People don't cry because they are weak.... They cry because they have been strong for too long" He murmurs gently

(That's one of my favorite quotes! I think its from Johnny Depp but I can't remember)

That's when I fell apart... It felt like something had just shattered inside me and I start blubbering uncontrollably about everything from when my mother died to what I remember from being beat up in the school yard.

I look up at his face and he is looking at me with confusion as if he didn't understand but still wanted to help.

That was when everything went black

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(A/N)

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Word Count: 1093

HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO MYYY KRAZIES

Ik it's been forever and I'M SOOOO SORRY

My crap excuses:

I've been ridiculously stressed with school and crap

I've been at swimming after school everyday until now (Finally)

I have really bad writers block when it comes to this story

Sooooooooooo Yeah.....

How ironic that I finished this on Halloween --~--

ANYWHO I'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME I HOPE YOU ENJOYED

AND IF YOU DID SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE!!!!!!!! ;P

BAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!

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