Grieving Hearts [Completed]

32- yes or no?(part-1)

Agustin's pov.....

After that horrible incidence I have fired whole of the security team and had instructed each and every single person of newly appointed team that she can meet me anytime, anywhere she wants no one is to stop her even if I am in a very important meeting.

The guilt of not being able to help her when she came running to me for help is already eating me alive. I don't want a repeat telecast of what has happened.

By now half of the office might already be aware of what she means to me after the havoc I had created.

After that incidence I have gone completely paranoid. If any of my business rival came to know about her they might try to use her against me. And I have hell lot of enemies. So I had just requested her to inform me before she goes anywhere.

But she being herself, just went ballistic after hearing that, saying I have no right to control her life like that and she is a free being to do whatever she feels like. Why can't she understand I am not restricting her from doing anything she just needs to inform me for fuck's sake. I know I am being a maniac but I can't help it. I can't risk her safety again.

Though I understand I need to give her some time and space to heal and me being anywhere near her will just delay the process but I want nothing more then to just hold her in my arms and tend to her injuries but As much as I hate to admit it she fucking hates the very sight of me and goes running in the opposite direction as soon as she lays her eyes on me.

But I can't fucking stay away from her knowing that she is just in the room next to mine wouldn't even let me sleep moreover whenever I close my eyes the scenes of her getting tortured replays in my mind scaring the living shit out of me and I just wake up sweating profusely.

She is like the beautiful bird a little child runs behind but is afraid that one wrong move and he may scare her away and she will fly in the sky out of his reach.

It takes every thing in me not to drag her to my room and make her sleep laying next to me, cuddling to me. So much has changed in these few years previously she used to get happy even after receiving slightest of affection from me and now when I want nothing else than to just hold her in my arms I no more have that liberty, she no more wants me.

Her eyes used to sparkle with happiness at the mere sight of me and now I can only see disgust in them for me. Her hate is breaking me.... breaking my very existence.

Now that she is my everything I am nothing to her. I guess this is called justice being served, pathetic I know but this is my life now. This is all my own doing.

She is so close to me yet so far.

I don't know how to undo the damage or if I will ever be able to do that.
She says she can not forgive me in this lifetime then I will wait till my last breath, I will die waiting. But I just won't give upon her, ever.

I have decided to give her a week's time to gather herself, but not more that that after that we need to talk. If we don't how will I break the wall she has build around her heart. And not to forget I have limited time to make her fall for me again. If I fail to do that in three months minus one week, things will get ugly. I don't want to force her to be with me but I will if I have to.

And now that I can see it's not going to be as easy as I thought I need to plan things out. I have no fucking idea how to do that. Every time I try to be a nice person for her then something will happen and I loose all my fucking control. I cluctched my hair in frustration.

Aarggghh! If not for that fucker I would have been living happily with my dear wife and may be even kids. I have not killed him...yet though my hands are itching badly to do just that and I would have if my men wouldn't have stopped me, now I am glad that they did, Onika is never going to love a murderer and I am not in the position to upset her anymore.