Grieving Hearts [Completed]

54- Nothingness.

Please ignore the mistakes, there might be many, I have typed the chapter in a hurry and had not proof read it.

Thank you.
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Agustin's POV.....

It's been two hour since I told Kane to investigate into the matter, no call nothing, what is taking him so long?

I was restlessly pacing around my room, any bit of sound had me running for my phone, my heart was about to come out of my rid cage.

I eyed Onika's file, suspiciously. Maybe she might have mentioned something in her later entries. I took the file and opened it with shaky hands.

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# Day 30

You remember Agustin once you looked right into my eyes and asked me,

'Was your love not enough for me that I betrayed you the first chance I got?'

One beat, two beat, three beat and I don't know how many beats passed and I just kept staring at you, letting it sink into my head what you just asked.

It was like you had physically hit me, the force of it more violent than it had ever been before. I couldn't breathe for a few moments.

Did you seriously just asked me that? If only you knew the truth, you would have laughed at your own question.

It was the same question I wanted to ask you since forever, and how easily you asked me the same thing without as much as a frown forming on your forehead, the question slipped past your lips as natural as 'I love you, Onika' used to.

I so wanted to smash your head on the wall. I should be the one asking you that not you, if anyone has got the right to ask that, it's me, only me.

But as soon as you asked the very same question to me, my question was already answered.

At that moment something hit me hard.

Sometimes I can't help but notice the similarities between you and me, both are not good at judging people.

I am tired of thinking where did I went wrong, people say if you are ready to love you should also be ready to compromise and sacrifice, or else you are not ready for it.

The question is how much, till how long, how do you know you have reached your limits, now you need to stop compromising?

I guess it's when your self respect has to do the compromising, and I did compromise my self respect at many points for you, that is where I went wrong.

Realising that I have my own share of fault for where I stand today had my stomach church in disgust.

I fucking chose you. How could I have loved someone like you, You are not even a man.

And I gave you the only answer that came to my mind,

'Yes Agustin, you are right, your love was not enough.'

As soon as I said that, all hell break loose and a never ending cascade of tortures started. That was my undoing, but I never regretted having said that and never will.

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# Day 31

Life was always unfair to me, it has never been easy, but I took it as a challenge, because that is what I learnt from my mother.