On My Way • Why Don't We | ✓

nineteen

July 5, 2017 ; Minneapolis, Minnesota
Jonah

My mind races with thoughts. I sit crouched over, my elbows resting on my legs.

"Jonah," A voice I recognize as River's stands in the doorway.

"I—"

"Are you okay?" River asks. She asks it carefully, but her voice is laced with worry; it's almost as if she actually cares.

"Yeah," I sit up straight, and River joins me on the wooden floor.

In the half-lighted room, I only see an outline of her face. Shadows fall, darkening her features.

"Gemma," River starts but shakes her head, "Do you want to know the truth about Gemma?"

I nod, "But, I don't know if I'm ready for it."

"How many times did she hurt you?" River's voice is soft.

"Too many," I whisper.

"She has this control thing," River speaks up louder now, "She needs everything to go her way, and in doing so, she needs to have these puppets. It just so happened those puppets were us."

"What did she do to you?"

"I don't know really where to begin. She constantly had me in her shadow, and I was supposed to follow everything she said. When I didn't, she would call me names, threaten to leave me like she was so powerful. I watched her rip my close friend's life to shreds: beginning with her social life and moving into her home life and, as a result, taking her education too."

I sit there in disbelief.

"I was scared of her, and I let her control me," River's voice is shaky as she concludes.

"I was too caught up in her looks than who she was," I stammer out: It's definitely not something I'm proud of, but it's the truth.

"I think most people end up like that: caught up in lust, not love. We, I, can't use it against you," She shrugs, "At least you're truthful."

"I denied the day I left, the reason I left, for so long, and when she showed up at the show, I was trapped. All along, a piece of me knew she was not a good person, but I still allowed her into my life. I shouldn't be surprised or hurt that she did this.

"But, I am, and I'm not sure why. She has always manipulated and controlled people, and I couldn't see that. I couldn't protect my friends from it. I couldn't protect you from it."

"None of us are angry that you let her in again: It's understandable, and you can't blame anything that happened with me on yourself. I'm a different story altogether," She rests a gently hand on my arm.

"She's not too great, huh?" I ask with a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, you really don't have the best choice in girls," River jokes.

"I think I finally learned my lesson," I respond equally as amused.

"So, you finally stood up to Gemma?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah," River sighs, "It felt good to let her know how I feel."

"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

River shrugs, "She's always been the puppeteer that controls us all. She pulls the strings and makes us act a certain way or talk a certain way.

"Last night, she saw me and you together and was so jealous," Her eyes flutter closed, as if remembering the moment, "It was my fault of course. She told me I wasn't allowed to speak to you or anyone else. It hurt because this wasn't the first time. I was always the problem, and every time, I changed to please her.

"I missed out on so many wonderful friendships because she told me I couldn't talk to them, or she would insist that those girls were bad. Any time I would talk to her crush or boyfriend it was as if I was purposely taking them away from her. I was always the threat."

"She was threatened by you because you're strong, because she knows you can outsmart and outplay her. She needs to control you to ensure you don't hurt her or do something that will bring everything she has down," I tell River, who slightly shakes her head at this.

"I guess she kinda messed with both of us," She chokes out.

"Yeah, I guess so."

We sit in silence, my thoughts wandering to the first time Gemma and I spent time together, "Hey, I don't remember you from our old school? Did you—"

"During school, she mostly spent time with the more popular kids," River shrugs, "I honestly don't remember you," She laughs.

"I'm glad you we're on the same page then," I laugh easily, and a weight that has been pushing on me for weeks, years, lifts. I look at the girl next to me differently, "Thank you. It was really nice to have someone understand and listen to my situation."

She nods, "Yeah, it was nice to talk about everything too, but you should thank Evelyn and Nova. They wanted to protect you all along."

I nod, "Will do."

We fall silent for a moment, "Can we start over?"

River stares at me for a long moment, reading my expression. Finally, she nods with a small smile playing on her lips, "Sure," She laughs quietly.

"Hi," I smile crookedly, "I'm Jonah Marais," I offer her my hand, and a small light ignites in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Marais. I'm River Delaney," She shakes my hand firmly, her eyes flickering with amusement.

"Likewise, Delaney," Laughter bubbles out of her, and I can't help but laugh along.

"I hope that we get to spend more time together," I state after our laughter die down.

"I know we will," She responds with a grin forming on her face, "Shall we?"

I nod and stand, offering my hand to help her up. She takes it, a small smirk playing on her lips.

Her eyes dance with joy, just as they did last night on Fourth of July, and my heart skips a beat as we stand in silence for a second.

"Thank you, Marais," She whispers.

"My pleasure."

. . .

Today 8:38 PM

Jonah
good night and thank
you for coming out
to support us. i
hope today wasn't
completely horrible.

River
it was wonderful.
seriously, you guys
are amazing.

Jonah
thank you, delaney

River
no need to thank
me. i'll text you
tomorrow. good
night ♡

Jonah
good night♡
read 8:40 pm

. . .

Today 7:26 PM

Cameron
hey, evelyn! how
are you? hope
summer is treating
you well ;)
delivered