On My Way • Why Don't We | ✓

twenty three

July 9, 2017 ; Denver, Colorado
Jack

Today 9:06 AM

Jack
am I seeing you tonight?

Eliza
yup

Jack
okay <3

Eliza
<3
read 9:10 am

. . .

I stare at our short exchange. Eliza and I used to text for hours, and when we were texting, we would be on the phone with each other, sharing banter and laughs.

You're just imagining it. I tell myself. Eliza is just busy. She's with her grandparents. You aren't her priority.

For the past few weeks, our conversations have dwindled. We text less and less and have less to say on the phone. Awkward stretches of silence sever us emotionally. After talking for a bit, one of us yawns, pretending we're tired before hanging up.

"So, we're seeing your girlfriend tonight," Zach jokes as he sits next to me, "I don't want to see full on grossness."

I laugh, hoping it sounds real.

What if this isn't part of my imagination? Everyone's going to notice tonight. My mind races as I imagine possible scenarios. At my own show?

Zach, catching on to my strange laugh, suddenly turns serious, "Dude, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," I stammer, "I just thought of something."

"Are you sure?"

Sure, I trust the boys with everything, but right now, they aren't the right people. I need to talk to someone.

"Yeah, I just need to go talk to my mom
quickly," I stand up, heading towards the back of the bus, "Privately."

I don't look back as I reach the back of the bus. Standing up, I shakily reach for my phone.

"Please pick up," I mutter to myself as it rings.

"You've reaches the voicemail box of—"

The automated voice drones on. I hear the high-pitched beep, and shakily, I start talking, "Mom, I just . . . I need help. No, I need advice. I'm okay; I just . . . I just need to talk. Please call me back soon. I love you," Hanging up, I'm stricken with reality.

Zach and Nova are in the front of the bus messing around while Daniel, Corbyn, and Jonah are intensely video gaming. Instead, I see the figure closest to me. Evelyn stares at me, her eyes wide.

"I-I swear I didn't mean to intrude," She blurts out, "I'm so sorry. I just forgot my phone back here, and—"

"It's okay," I sigh.

"It didn't sound okay," She says gently, "I know it's not necessarily my place, but I'm here if you want to," She pauses, "You know, talk?"

I shrug, "It was about Eliza."

"I thought you two were . . . happy together?"

"We are," I answer immediately, but something stops me, "I think."

"Did something happen?" Evelyn asks, taking a seat next to me.

"No," I shake my head, "I guess I'm just paranoid. It's just our conversations have kind of halted. We don't talk nearly as much, and when we do, there are awkward stretches of silence," I take a breath before addressing my real worries, "I'm just worried I screwed everything up."