On My Way • Why Don't We | ✓

forty two

August 13, 2017 ; Los Angelos, California
Daniel

I awake with a start, nearly jumping out of bed. Beside me, my phone buzzes incessantly before stopping abruptly. I stare at the dark screen for a moment as everything registers. My heart is racing as I sit in darkness. I feel my hands shaking as I reach for my phone. A voice inside me hopes that it's Ev.

Clicking the home button, the screen lights up to a dozen missed calls from Anna. My heart sinks at the sight.

Before, I used to think heartbreak was an exaggeration, that it never meant truly feeling broken, but I was wrong. Heartbreak is a searing feeling in your chest that never ceases. It feels like suffocation in an icy, cold darkness.

My phone begins buzzing again, nearly scaring me. Anna's contact flashes on my screen ceaselessly. I slowly slide my thumb to the right before bringing the phone up to my ear.

"You did it."

"Hello?" I ask, confused by Anna's blunt comment.

"You like her, and you told her."

"Anna, what?"

"Evelyn. You told her you like her."

"Why are you calling me at three a.m. in the morning?"

"Daniel, did you or did you not tell her you like her?"

"Anna, I was asleep when—"

"Can you please just answer the question."

"Yes, I told her that I like her." I surrender to Anna's question.

"Oh my—"

"Anna, I really don't want to talk to you about this right now."

"Daniel, you don't understand." She falls silent on the other side of the line, and I hear her sigh loudly. "Evelyn? Yeah, she's hurting just as much as you."

"What?" I splutter.

"I have to go. Good night, Daniel." Anna's voice is steady before the line goes silent.

I pull the phone away from my ear, confused by the conversation that just occurred. I feel a lump in my throat forming, suddenly noticing how silent the house is.

Out of panic, I rush out of my room and toward Corbyn's. Without thinking, I push open his door loudly.

"Corbyn, Corbyn, you were right." I choke on my words. "I need to talk about it."

"Daniel, what in the world?"

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. At the sight of me, he jumps out of bed.

"Corbyn, I miss her. I miss her too much." I feel myself slowly sinking against the wall.

"Hey," he consoles me, wrapping an arm around me. "I know, I know. It's okay."

"It's not. I'm not. I just—"

I'm gasping for breaths through my tears, hiccuping for air.

"Breathe, it's okay. Daniel, we'll talk through it."

"I just miss her so much." I break down into another sequence of sobs.

"I know you do," he says steadily. "You're in love with her."

"Can you help me? Can you talk to me about it? Please, Corbyn."

I hear my voice loudly in my head. I hear myself crying loudly in the middle of the night, but I can't control the words that tumble out of my mouth as he tries to calm me down.

"Daniel, I can't be the one to talk to you about it."

"Please, Corbyn, you're the only person I can talk to about this."

"No." He shakes his head.

"Evelyn is."