Forlorn⇝m.y.g + p.j.m

3

"Baby, smoke this last cigarette really quick I wanna take you out somewhere." It is currently three in the morning and Yoongi and I had each smoked one cigarette. I took a deep drag, coughing, then put out the cigarette.

"Where are we going?" I hold onto his hand. The smell of cigarettes lingers between the both of us and it's utterly intoxicating.

"The park. I wanna take my baby out." I bite my lip to refrain myself from smiling, but I feel the familiar hot sensation on my cheeks.

"Why do you suddenly wanna take me out?" I ask with a goofy smile.

"My baby needs some time outside." I fiddle with my fingers and snort. I go to my closet and grab a sweater, as well as heading towards my dresser so I can get socks to quickly slip my shoes on.

"I'm ready." I say with a smile. He smiles back and my heart flutters. Even in the dark room, only illuminating blue from the outside world that I've been so disconnected to for the longest time, Yoongi's smile brightens the room. I smile back, too focused on how beautiful he looks, and press a quick kiss to his lips.

"Fuck, I'm so in love with you." I murmur. He smiles, dragging me out of my apartment and to the park a block away.

As we reach the empty park, I grab Yoongi's face and press desperate kisses everywhere. I rub my thumb on his lower lip and he smiles.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Nothing. I'm just happy I've got such a beautiful boy by my side." I smile, but frown.

"Then please always stay with me." I pout. I know where this conversation is going to lead to, for we've constantly bickered about this back and forth, and a pang of guilt and regret hits me.

"Baby," he sighs, "I love you, but I'm not ready to leave her yet."

"Why not?" I bring my face down and feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Baby, don't cry." He lifts my chin up and I feel the hot tears contrasting against my cold cheeks.

"Am I not good enough for you?"

"Baby, no. You're so fucking perfect."

"Then what's the issue?" I cry out. I let go of the one hand I was holding onto and face away from him, using my now free hand to wipe the tears freely slipping from my eyes.

He remains quiet and I laugh.

"I know the issue. I'm only sixteen." He says nothing and I take it as a yes, after all he's not trying to explain otherwise.

"I love you, god damn it. Do you know how much it hurts to know that I can't wake up next to you and she can? Do you know how much it hurts when you come over and you reek of the sex you've had with her? Or how about when you can't even come over because you're too busy fucking her late at night?" I push him and he does nothing. "What about when I'm thinking about you, anxiously waiting for you to use that god damn key I gave you to come home and keep me company. This isn't only hard on you, hyung. It's hard on me too, damn it." His face softens and he englufs me in a hug.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I sob into his shoulder as he comforts me, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"This hurts me, hyung. I hope you know that I'm in love with you. Age means nothing. I know what I feel is real and that's final." He sighs and pulls away.

"I-I have-"

"Just go." I sit down on the bench nearby and he stares at me.

"You aren't going to go to the apartment?"

"No," I sigh, "I'm going to stay out and watch the sunrise." He nods his head and walks away.

"I love you." I whisper hoarsely, yet loud enough for him to hear. He tenses at my words and a sad smile is plastered on my face. For a split second, he stops walking, but continues on anyways....without an, "I love you too, baby." Leaving me wondering: was all this killing myself truly worth it?

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Omfg..thanks for 100 reads on this chapter too 😭💕