The Back Of My Head

Chapter 12 - Apologies

SHAUN’S POV

I got up and watched Andy disappear down the corridor. Surely he didn’t mean what he said? We have like ten years of friendship. We have fights all the time, but he’s never said what he just did. Did I just lose one of my closest friends and the bassist of my band?

“Shaun?” I turned around to see Bradie standing at the door of the room Brooke was in, “where’s Andy?”

“He went for a walk, I think,” I lied and tried my best to cover up my now bruising eye.

“What happened to your eye?” Bradie questioned walking up to me.

“Nothing, just don’t touch me, alright?” I batted his hand away.

“Sorry,” he apologised looking pretty hurt, “did you get our messages?”

“Yeah, can I see Brooke now?” I didn’t wait for an answer and just walked past him and into Brooke’s room.

“Shaun?” Brooke questioned as I closed the door, “what are you doing here?”

“Well, my girlfriend’s in hospital, I think that’s a good enough reason for being here,” I answered taking her hand.

“Just stay away from me,” she took her hand back and started getting out of bed.

I was pretty shocked; it was like she was scared of me. She headed for the door, but I stood in front of it stopping her in her tracks.

“Brooke, I’m not gonna hurt you,” I reassured her and took her hands.

“Please let me go,” she pleaded.

She was petrified. I don’t understand why, I’ve never hurt her before? I never would.

“Babe, I won’t…” I started, but I was cut off by her crying out Bradie’s name.

Bradie burst the door open with a flash, hitting my head in the process. Must be ‘bash the crap out of Shaun day’?

“What’s wrong?” Bradie questioned obviously seeing nothing I was doing wrong.

“Shaun, just get him out of here, I don’t wanna see him,” she looked at Bradie pleadingly.

What? What did I do wrong? I know I yelled at her earlier today, but that couldn’t have scared her so much she didn’t wanna see me?

“Shaun, look she doesn’t wanna see you right now…” Bradie started, but I cut him off.

“But I wanna see her,” I began, “babe, I’m sorry for what I said today, I didn’t mean any of it, I was just pissed off.”

“I know why,” I looked between her and Bradie, “I can’t believe you treated your best friend like that.”

“You told her?” I asked Bradie.

“Well yeah, she wanted to know why you came home so angry,” Bradie answered and started pulling me out of the room.

Brooke was about to close the door on us, but I quickly stopped it with my foot.

“Wait, is our baby okay?” I questioned, I genuinely wanted to know.

“My baby’s fine,” she answered closing the door leaving me feel like my heart had been ripped out.

Her baby? I’m just not involved anymore? Just one stupid afternoon I come home in a bad mood and say shit I regret and I’m suddenly out of my baby’s life? I punched the wall in frustration hurting my hand in the process, but I didn’t care, everything was falling apart.

“Shaun, sit down, we need to talk,” I looked a Bradie who was sitting in one of the chairs outside Brooke’s room, “don’t worry, it’s not about me and you.”

I hesitantly took the seat next to Bradie, not looking him in the eye.

“You really scared Brooke today,” he told me.

“I know, but she doesn’t need to be scared of me,” I explained, “it’s not like I’d do it again.”

“She doesn’t know that you won’t,” he started, “what about all the baby things that come up?”

“Like what?” I questioned.

“Ultrasounds, check-ups, having to buy heaps of stuff for it,” he explained, “she’s afraid you won’t be able to keep your cool though it.”

I thought about it for a second. I know all that would stress me out; no way would I go off at her again.

“She’s afraid you’ll physically abuse her next time…” Bradie added.

“There won’t be a next time,” I stated finally looking at Bradie, “I love her too much.”

“You’ll have to find a way to prove that to her,” Bradie smiled getting up.

“Wait!” I stopped him, “I looked you dead in the eyes and said that I love her and you don’t care?”

“Shaun, I don’t wanna be with you,” he started, “I wanna be your friend, sometimes you just get crushes on your friends.”

“Yeah…” I was pretty astonished.

This whole time I’ve been bagging out Bradie because I thought he wanted me and it turns out he doesn’t? Well, this changes everything.

“You okay?” Bradie questioned noticing my silence.

I put my arms around him and embraced him for what felt like ages. I could tell he was taken aback by it. When I finally let go he had a confused look on his face.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“I’m so sorry for what I said this morning,” I began, “I’m sorry for everything, you’re gay, that’s awesome, stay true to who you are.”

He looked slightly embarrassed because everyone was looking at us. Wow, we must look like a gay couple.

“Um, thanks,” he laughed slightly blush in the cheeks, “I love you in the most non-gay way possible.”

“Geez, you’re gay, love me in the most gay way possible,” I laughed for the first time today, “be who you are, I want you to”

“You’re a dickhead, Shaun,” he smiled and punched me in the arm, “so, the black eye, Andy did that, right?”

“How’d you…” I started, but he cut me off.

“He’s been so pissed at you today, but don’t worry I’ll talk to him,” he assured me.

“After I’ve been such an arse to you today?” I questioned, I’d never forgive someone that quick.

“You apologised, that’s enough for me,” he explained, “just go do something nice for your girlfriend.”

He walked off smiling, god I love Bradie.