Lift // Hamliza

• chapter 5 •

• Eliza •

I still couldn't believe it. Alex dances! How could I not have known that? After a few minutes of not really talking, our groups silence becomes a little uncomfortable. I want to talk but I don't know how to start. Plus, Alexander doesn't look super happy. He looks sort of upset and lost in though.

Maybe we're annoying him. After all, he probably just wanted a quiet dinner by himself and we ruined it. We're all eating except for Alex, who's kind of just staring at his hands, which I notice are shaking. That's weird.

"Alexander, are you alright?" I ask, concern taking over me. He glances up at me, eyes glistening sadly. What was he thinking about? He almost looked like he was about to cry. He picks up his sandwich and stands up, pushing out of his chair quickly and turning on his heel.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. Um, it was nice to talk to you guys. Sorry if I bothered you if anything." He said, very quietly and quickly, then walked briskly out of the store.

I looked at him as he began to walk away, and I could have sworn I saw a tear on his face in the glow of the streetlight.

Angie nudged me with her elbow and out of my thoughts.

"That's a good one you got there Eliza. I really feel like he likes you." She said with a small smile. I frowned and shook my head.

"Ang, he just got up and left! We had to have been annoying him. And it looked like he was crying." I said to her, not letting my hopes climb up, in case they were shot down.

"And besides," I continued, "I can't be focusing on love right now. I have a competition next week and I need to finish my choreography. I can't let a boy distract me from my passion." I said. Angie just shook her head sadly.

"Come on, Lizzy, all you do is dance! It's your whole life. Maybe Alexander could help you. And you can figure out why he ran off." She said. It's not a bad idea, but... no. I couldn't be distracted.

"Are you guys ready to go yet? I wanna go home so I can finish studying for the biology test next Tuesday." Peggy said impatiently. I sighed and nodded.

"Let's go."

• Alexander •

Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

I just totally ruined the only chance I had to talk to a beautiful girl who I've been crushing on for years. And my memories ruined it.

See, I was thinking of the partner thing and how no one wanted to be with me. My family all abandoned me when I was ten. We used to live in the Caribbean but then we moved to New York when I was nine. They told me they were going on a business trip, and they told me I'd be alone for a few days.

Yeah, my parents kind of sucked.

But basically they never came back. Since I was smart I learned how live on my own without the help of others, or with Social Services finding out about it.

But after thinking of having no dance partner I thought of my parents. My brother.

They forced him to go on the "trip" and I knew he didn't want to go. We were close, him and I. I still remember the last thing he told me.

"I love you, Alexander. I'm sorry."

And then a few years ago in the news, when I was 13, there was a story on a boy who was killed by his drunk father.

My dad killed my brother.

And if I begged him to stay, maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe I wouldn't be so messed up. Maybe I'd be happy like Eliza and her sisters.

So that's why I was crying. That's why I had to leave. I couldn't let the girl of my dreams see me cry. Especially since the girl of my dreams was a Schuyler. If she told someone she saw me cry, it'd be over the school in half a class period and I'd be publicly teased and humiliated.

But with Eliza or not, I was going to overcome it someday. My fears, my partner problem, my nightmares of my parents and my dead brother.

And I would lift myself up. Little by little I would teach myself to fly above the sadness. With dance. With writing. With anything.

I unlocked my apartment and shut the door quietly. I tossed the dance bag I still had on my shoulder to the floor, stumbling a bit in the dark while I found the light switch.

I laid in bed looking at the ceiling for a while, my mind blank until just before sleep. My last though was of Eliza, and not James like it has been since I was just 13.