Lift // Hamliza

• chapter 13 •

warning: um this book/chapter is so angsty. Not really triggering stuff but it's angsty. Sorry for making all my books like this lol.
• Eliza •

After the pas de deux, Alexander and I just stood there and smiled. Just before I was about to pull away, he kissed me.

It almost didn't count as a kiss, the softness of it. I was shocked at his sudden kiss and almost pulled away, but instead decided not to. I leaned in a bit more, tipping my head up and wrapping my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Our lips moved perfectly against each other and it felt like my insides were being set on fire in the best way.

When we finally pulled apart for air, he looked at me flustered and apologetic, and just before he was about to say something, I decided I needed him again and tackled him to the ground, kissing him with more passion then I thought I'd be able to.

We sat there, me in his lap on the floor, kissing so intensely it was almost making out. I loved every second of it.

I couldn't tell if it was seconds or minutes later, we pulled apart again. I smiled at him to reassure him that I was fine. But he didn't look the same.

I knew he wasn't mad, and I knew he didn't hate kissing me. He started it and he kissed back.

"Alexander, are you alright?" I asked, putting my hand on his. He was starting to breathe heavily and his eyes were darting around. He put his head in his hands and I saw him trembling. Wow, the two of us were a mess today.

Great, Eliza. You made out with him and now he's freaking out for an unknown reason and I'm making fun of us. Of him. I'm such a great person.

"Alex?" I asked again. He shots up suddenly and took his ballet shoes off, sliding back into his Nikes. Needless to say, I was confused. It was like he couldn't hear me.

He almost couldn't put his shoes on because he was shaking so hard.

"Alexander!" I said loudly, as he picked up his bag. His eyes shot up, an extremely panicked look in them.

"Eliza." He breathed, his voice breaking somehow on the only word he spoke. I pulled him to the ground again and held him very tight.

And he did not want that at all.

He tugged away from me and slid out of my arms, not saying a word the whole time. What was happening?

"Please, Alexander, tell me what's going on! We just kissed for Gods sake, why are you so upset?" I cried out, frustrated and confused and feeling neglected.

"They're all gone. Because of me. Everyone." He muttered. Who? Who was he talking about? Then it hit me.

His family.

"Alex, please sit. Who are you talking about? Is it your family? Why do you think they left because of you?" I gently said.

"My mom. And Dad and brother. Everyone I loved is gone. They died. I can't be with you Eliza. As much as I love you I can't bear to see you leave. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't hate me I'm sorry please!" He said quickly. When he told me he couldn't be with me, my heart dropped but I knew he only said it in panic, and he didn't mean it. He looked so scared, like an abandoned puppy.

Again, I put my hand on his. I took my scarf that I had taken off earlier from the hook it was on and wrapped it around him. It was a very large scarf and was warm, and it smelled like lavender which would probably calm him.

I adjusted the scarf in front of his nose and started speaking to him.

"Ok, I'm going to count and when I do, I want you to breathe in through your nose for 4, hold it for 7 and exhale through your mouth for 8, Alright? I'm gonna have you do this for a while until you're calm." He nodded a little bit and I began to count.

"1... 2... 3... 4..." I began as he inhaled.

It took 15 sets of the breathing exercise to calm him down fully. I've never had to do it more than 5 times, and it broke my heart to see him so upset. His breathing finally slowed and evened out, and his head was in my lap where I was stroking his hair to calm him down. I realized he had fallen asleep after calming down.

My poor Alexander, so terribly alone in the world. But I'd change that. I hope.