Lift // Hamliza

• chapter 11 •

• Alexander •

"Actually, ah, I was wondering. Did you ever, uh, do anything after your mom died? Like, um, hurt yourself and maybe it wasn't an accident?" Eliza said. I almost crashed the goddamn car because of that question.

"Eliza, what are you asking? I don't understand?" I said, shocked. Of course I understood. I understood too fucking well. If she was cutting like I used to, oh god. She used to be so happy! No. This can't be happening. Not the girl I love. She doesn't deserve to be in pain.

"Like hurting yourself and stuff. Because of the pain from them passing." She asked. I took my hand off hers and ran it through my hair with a sigh. I glanced at her.

"Uh. Y-Yeah. I don't like to admit it but yeah. I would, um, cut. But not anymore." She grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"Alex, if I tell you something do you promise not to tell anyone? Please? I don't want my sisters to worry and my dad just lost his wife and I don't want people to think I'm like messed up and I," She began to breathe heavily again.

"Eliza, it's alright. You can tell me. It's all good. You don't need to panic. I won't tell anyone and you're safe." I rubbed circles on her hand and she exhaled deeply.

"I've been doing the same thing." She said, almost in a whisper. My eyes filled with tears. I haven't cried since I was fourteen and I'm seventeen now. It's been three years. I knew her seeing me cry would break her, so I turned a little in my seat and tried to focus on the road.

Yeah, that's a little hard to do with tears streaming down your face.

I cried silently, still rubbing circles on Eliza's hand.

"Alex, I can see you crying." She said brokenly. Suddenly I pulled over into the parking lot of a Target and parked the car. I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over the console to embrace her as we cried together. God, so much crying in one day.

I sobbed for so long. She had stopped crying after a few minutes but me? I just kept going. I got it all out: moms death, my dad and James, my cutting, moving to America, struggling with school in the beginning, and this. I had years of pain to get out, and I did. Eventually I sat up and tried to smile at her to reassure that I was okay. She smiled weakly back and rested her head in my shoulder for a moment.

"We'll get through this. I promise." I said to her, wiping my face and starting the car again.

"I'm sorry. Also, I think red is really your color Alex." She said, motioning to my red nose and eyes. I laughed and sniffled, trying to compose myself before we got to her street. Unfortunately her house wasn't far from Target and soon enough we were back.

"Hey, Alex, do you want to maybe dance with me? I have a dance room here and I think it'd make both of us feel better." She said with a small smile.

"Of course! I actually have my bag in the car here so I have my shoes." I grabbed my duffel bag and we exited the car. What we didn't expect was Angelica waiting for us inside, hand on hip with a sassy look on her face.

"Sooo. You both look like you've been crying and you smell like fake Mexican food. What the hell happened at Taco Bell?"