Mirrors | Jikook |

Chapter 2: Mind of a hopeless romantic

         Dark black hair and red piercing eyes with pale skin and a bunny smile... That's all Jimin remembered seeing back then through that mirror. However, he did feel at times that it talked back to him while he slept. It said such things as "sleep.." or even "care.." after Jimin moved out of his mothers house, That's all he's been thinking of too. The boy's mind sometimes would be occupied with college and love but when he would snap out of all of it... Jimin thought of the figure.

            His two good friends Jung Hoseok and Kim Taehyung encouraged Jimin to move forward and reach for someone.. Someone who actually made him smile and laugh. All these other girls he dated kept pouting and tried hard to be very cute... It tired Jimin from all of it! He had to keep up and make his girlfriend happy... But he wasnt. At this point on in life, he knew he wouldn't ever be happy... Of course, he set himself on a pedestal and expected to have things his way... Not realizing love wasn't all about that.

             Jimin got up from the grass and grabbed his bag. "Guess I can head home.. Everywhere I look is a beautiful couple either making out or hugging... I don't like it.." Jimin claimed as he decided to walk down the grassy hill he was on. Relationships fascinated him, he loved to be in one but his expectations were suddenly high.. He couldn't put his finger on it, whatever it was.. He knew it was a tough one to reach.

           Jimin was known to be the cute boy around campus. Girls loved him and some girls wanted him back.. Just being told that he wasn't into it broke their hearts and made them desperate to get back to him. However, they didn't really took the time to know him more to figure out what he really wanted. It was like Jimin was a blank page... No one can read him or understand him.. He too felt like this when it came to love. Maybe he just realized love wasn't for him now.

             Along Jimin's way out of the campus's field, he saw lovebirds... Of course, why wouldn't he? Couples around their college years were very common. Jimin too had a few relationships before he realized it was all for nothing... He wanted to fall in love but knew he couldn't all because of the voice that spoke to him... Telling him to break it off.

            That voice was suddenly there, he didn't know why it would come to him once he has a relationship.. Atleast, he thought of it as just being his inner demon telling him to get rid of something he loves to surround himself with. Jimin walked over to the crowded bus and walked in. A crowded service like this was also common, there was never a break here and it grew hot in the bus at times because of it... But Jimin didn't care about that either. Throughout the bus ride, Jimin noticed a little boy staring up at him. He had dark brown eyes that blinked while he stared and light brown hair that layed perfectly on his head.

          Jimin smiled at the little boy and the boy smiled back continuing to stare, hoping that the smile will make him stop, The boy just kept staring cutely.

           Jimin felt happy to know the boy wanted to make Jimin's day better by smiling at him. It kept him occupied throughout his time there. Once Jimin reached his stop, he waved at the boy leaving him with his caregiver on the bus. The thought of children made Jimin smile and the thought of love came across his mind once more.

            Jimin sighed walking along the cold fall night. He hated to come home to know that he of course did not have a girlfriend to kiss and hug only because he chased them away with the "I can do better" thought that came over him. He just realized he was undatable now! Once Jimin reached his small apartment he managed to grow happy now. "Pft.. Who needs love when I'm better like this? Loving myself and focusing in college." Jimin said to himself... Only to make himself feel better.

             Jimin walked up to his laptop and set it by the low table in the living room putting on his favorite drama as he went to make himself instant Kimchi ramen. It was a basic thing and unhealthy of him to get but this was all he thought of himself getting. His mother sent him enough money to eat more but Jimin only took it for college purposes. From a family that wants you to work hard in school, education was the main priority.

              As he pressed play to watch. He walked to the kitchen to make his quick noodles while the recap played and the theme song aswell. Recap normally lasted up to a minute and the opening was quick so Jimin would have to go pause it on time before the actual episode played.

            When Jimin finished making his ramen by himself he sat alone by his laptop watching the episode. Even if his best friends asked him to hang out, he wished to stay home if it meant being the third wheel... Again!

            This would occasionally happen. Jimin would go out with Hoseok and Taehyung hoping that the couple wouldn't ditch him to go make out somewhere but it happens eventually! When the carnival was in town, he rode the Ferris wheel with the couple. Worst mistake. The whole time they were flirting and holding hands making Jimin sigh and look away. It was cute to him but this alone made him grow envious. "Why can't I be happy in a relationship without having issues?! What's wrong with me?!" Jimin told himself when he would see couples. "What I would do to get rid of this thought in my mind... Constantly telling me I belong to no one!" Jimin sighed. The thought was suddenly uncontrollable, he had no power over it.

            When Jimin went to his room, he layed awake at night hearing to the usual water drip from the bathroom sink repeatedly. It helped him think. Before he fell asleep he would tell himself "I love you." It seemed like a lonely and miserable thing... But really, it was the only thing that kept him going. If he didn't love himself, who will?