Forever & Always

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

-Numb The Pain.-

"This one! This one is even your size!" Danielle shrieked halfway across the store.

I was currently in the middle of a mini shopping spree with Danielle. It was now May. It almost marks a month since I've last seen Louis in person. Today was one of the few times I went out since Louis left. I usually spent my days at Jay's house and helped with the babies. I rarely slept at the flat me and Louis had. I hated the emptiness. Though it's been hard, I'm getting through it. With the help of my close friends and family, of course.

I walked over to Danielle and looked over the dress she was holding. It was a plain, black cocktail dress. It was simple, but effective. I nodded and we rushed to the dressing rooms like little girls would.

"Okay. Wait out here and I'll be right back." I told her with a grin.

She nodded and sat down on one of the couches that was set there. "Hurry up though! I know how you are." She teased with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes as I walked through the curtain door and began undressing myself once I was hidden away. Once I was in nothing but my underwear and bra, I stared at myself in the mirror. A slight frown appeared on my lips as I noticed a small pudge begin to hang from my stomach. I should really stop eating so much. That's all I've really been doing lately.

I slipped the dress on and held it against my chest before peeking my head through the curtain. "Dani!" I whisper shouted.

She perked up almost immediately. "Yeah?"

"Come zip me up?" I ask and slowly move back into the dressing room.

I didn't need a response to know that she would follow after me, which she did. I turned to face the mirror so she could zip me up. I watched her through the mirror and saw her nose scrunch up.

"What?" I asked with a pout.

"I... Is this the right size?" She mumbled more to herself than to me before checking the tag. "Have you shopped here before?"

"Yeah... Why?"

"Are you sure you're the same size? Because sometimes different brands make the sizes different." She rambled on. I could tell something was making her nervous.

"What's going on?" I ask, obviously confused as to what was going on.

"It... It won't go up. Unless I maybe force it. But if I did that, it'd be super uncomfortable.."

My breath hitched. I had been the same size for years and just now I start gaining weight? After all the clothes I've collected? Not to mention everything everyone else would say. I could almost hear it now. 'Louis should dump that stupid Ele-cow'. I grimaced at the thought itself.

"No. This is my size. How can it not fit?" I asked and slowly slipped out of the dress, checking the size.

"Have you been over eating?" Danielle mumbled and watched me freak out. Her awkwardness filling the room.

"No- well... sort of. I just.. I dunno." I stuttered, pressing the dress against my stomach to hide the slight weight gain proof. "Whenever I feel sad, I go and eat some ice cream or something to... You know.. Numb the pain."

Danielle nodded, looking as if she understood. "Well, listen. You can go and binge whenever you want. I do it all the time. But I dance. What you need to do is-"

"I can't dance." I interrupted before she could even mention the idea of me dancing.

"I didn't mean dance, dork." She laughed and handed me my clothes. "I meant you could go to the gym. Or go on a walk."

"Well, I suppose." I sighed and set the dress down. "I wouldn't want Louis to come home to a fat Eleanor." I murmured, half joking as I slipped on my old clothes.

Danielle frowned at my comment.

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"Wait, Dani." I breathed out and sat down on a nearby bench. My ankles were killing me and the sun was just lingering around me. My breath was hollow.

She groaned and turned to face me. "Eleanor. That's like the millionth time you've sat down!"

"Well I'm having stupid cramps again." I complained and held my stomach.

"Are you starting... it?" She asked quietly so only I would hear when she came to sit next to me.

I shook my head. "I think. I should. I haven't had it for the past two months."

"Eleanor!" She yelled and got up, slapping her hand to her mouth. I could almost hear necks snapping to turn and look at us.

"Dani! No! Sit down! It isn't that." I groaned and leaned back in the bench, trying to make myself smaller.

"What do you mean no?! Eleanor-"

"Danielle. Listen to me, please. I don't get regular cycles." I mumbled. Her expression blanked. "I don't get a visit from Mother Nature every month. Mine are irregular. It has to do with what I eat, how much I exercise, or the fact that I don't produce enough eggs to have it monthly."

"How do you know?" She asked, finally taking her seat again.

"The doctor told me, brainiac. But, as I was saying. I kind of spotted three months ago.. But it was only for like a day. And I've been having these cramps for the past four months.." My voice quieted down to a whisper, "What if there's something wrong with me?" I asked her, my voice cracking.

"Well, lets go to the doctors. Or maybe take a pregnancy test?" She suggested.

"Dani, I'm not pregnant!" I snapped and shook my head. "I don't understand why you keep bringing that up!"

"Woah, woah. Calm down, El. It was just a suggestion." She raised her hands in defense. "How about this? I take you home, you take a long rest, and tomorrow, me and Perrie will be over there first thing in the morning so we can all go out and eat."

A small smile formed on my lips as I listened to her.

"How's that sound?" She asked and leaned over to rub my thigh.

"Perfect.." I replied with a wide smile.