Life's little bit of Madness~ (Wilford x Criminal Reader Female)

Day 11

I walk out of my bedroom I had once slept in, and I head downstairs, Of course I smell food, this time I know it's actually breakfast since it's pretty bright. I walk into the kitchen and pause at the door. Wilford has simply sat down onto the floor, hugging himself. I stare for a moment, he seems a lot more upset then I've ever seen him. 

"..Wilfo--" He jumps up onto his feet and turns towards me. 

"H-Hey." He says, before walking quickly to the stove. "I'm making eggs." 

"..Are you okay?" I ask, and I walk over to him, but he doesn't look over. 

"I was just.. It's nothing, go sit down at the dining table."

I pause then I frown a little. "...Alright." I say, respecting his privacy as I walk over to the dining table, and sit down. 

"..So, how well did you sleep?" Wilford asks.

"..It was alright, a little dark around the edges though."

"Dark around the edges?"

"It got bad at some points." I say, shrugging a bit, as at some point he walks over and sets a plate down before me, then in front of me. 

I look over at him. "..Aren't you gonna eat anything?"

"Don't worry about me eating, darling."

I stare and I frown, my eyebrows furrowing angrily. "Don't call me Darling."

"Well you're living in my house..."

I growl a little as I take a bite out of the eggs. They were actually pretty good, compared to anything else I've had, but that's probably 'cause I got my eggs cooked by a terrible prison chef and a crack addicted mother, and that's all who. My angry expression fades as I pause before taking another bite.

"..When did you learn how to cook so well?" I say, as he smiles.

"Wilford Warfstache always knows how to cook the best eggs."

"Ay, Don't get cocky." I say, pointing my fork at him. "...Only get a little cocky it's nice." 

He chuckles a bit as I take another bite out of his work.

"Fine.. Wilford knows how to cook good eggs."

"Yeah, that's a little better... You can stay cocky though. I like your self-esteem being up other then down."

I notice his grin grows as I say this. "...Alright." He says, and he looks down a bit as I, at some point finish my food. 

I pick up my plate, and stand up, as I do Wilford does. 

"Here, I'll take that--" He pauses when he reaches over, but I make sure he can't take the plate.

"Me, I, ate off this plate. I WASH." I hiss, and he brings his hands back.

"Okay jeez." 

I smile and I walk to the sink, and take the soap, soon cleaning off the crumbs and dirtiness off the filthy plate. Wilford walks over, uncomfortably close behind me which I can tell, but so far I'm making myself get used to it. I turn around and look up at him, then wipe my wet hands all over his shirt. He frowns.

"But why though?"

"You were there." (Mark when he killed Celine ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

Wilford grabs my hands and I frown at him. 

"Towels don't have hands Wilford."

"I'm no towel, Missy."

"...You're right, you're Wilford Warf-trash." There's a pause before Wilford takes in a deep inhale from his nose, and I just giggle softly. "Triggered towel boi?" I ask and he shakes his head, his grip on my wrist tightens a bit.

"...Nope, I'm fine." He says through his teeth before he let's go of my hands. "...Everything, is fine." He reassures himself and turns around, walking off.

For some reason, he seemed more then angry at that, I mean he's been seeming upset all day so far... I wonder...

"Wilford, What day is it?" I ask, and I run up to him, and he turns to me.

"..Why?"

"'Cause."

There's a pause and Wilford shrugs, it seems like he found out what day it was just standing there.

"October 13th. It's Friday the 13th, just.. I guess today's bad for me for that reason." Wilford shrugs and walks over to the couch, and sits down.

I watch him and I glance at the painting that is unknown thanks to the blanket. I walk over and sit besides him, making him have a taste of his own medicine by sitting uncomfortably close.

"Say," He scoots away a little. "What's under that blanket?" I ask, pointing up at the painting.

His eyes pan over. "...Oh, It's nothing... Just something I'd rather not speak about.. Say can I ask you a favor?" He asks, and I turn to him.

"Sure...?"

"In my bedroom I left my stabby and my shooty, Knife and Gun." He fixes his words so I know what he means. "On my nightstand, can you go grab them for me?"

I nod, and I stand up. "Sure.." I say, and I boop his nose softly before walking towards the stairs.

"They're on top!"

"Got it!"

I run up the stairs and walk over to Wilford's bedroom at the end of the hall, and I open the door. Of course I'm greeted with pink things and a few blood splatters on the wall. 

..Blood? What has he been doing in here?

I giggle softly as I walk to the side of his bed, and I grab his pistol, more like a revolver, and his knife, then I pause. I look down at the drawer, and I don't think twice as I open it, being the nosy person I am. There's a few candy wrappers, and some candy's that are still wrapped in foil, casual Wilford, except there's something else. A recorder, just sitting alone in the drawer. It's a tape recorder to be more specific.

I reach down and I stare at it, before pressing the button. A voice comes up, it sounds so god damn old, not the voice but the recorder.

"Colonel... If you get this... You better run." And that's it.

I stare.

Colonel...? Isn't that like a senior military officers name? 

I place it back and I close the drawer. I walk out of the bedroom, and back down the stairs.

"Got your stuff Wilford Warfstache." I say, tempted to insult him but I don't allow myself.

I walk over and hand him his knife and revolver, and he takes them. "Thank you." He says, as I sit back down beside him.

"...Say, Wilford, What were you back in your days? Like how old are you even?" I ask, turning to him who stares back at me.

"...Well, Age doesn't quite matter but I'd say Twenty Eight so far..." He says. "I think...Also I remember being in some sort of military, I won't go in to deep about it." He adds, sitting up a bit more as he looks down at his gun and knife that sits in his lap.

"..What were you... Nevermind." I look down as well.

He has to be the Colonel guy then, right?

"..Say, Maybe tomorrow you want to go somewhere?" Wilford suddenly asks, and I turn to look at him who I now notice he's staring at me.

It's a bit creepy, the way he is in a sexual way, but I guess I can't really expect someone like Wilford to know what he's doing wrong.

"Sure.. Where?"

"I.. Out?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"N-No!" Wilford yips, turning away as he frowns to himself. "...Just... I don't want to only talk.. I wanna do something." 

"Don't you own a talk show?"

"Yes but that becomes boring, then I've got to do these other things.. I mean, robbing that bank was a lot of fun compared to my, everyday normal life."

I giggle a bit. "You'd think in the life of Wilford it wouldn't be so boring." I say, and He turns back to me.

"I mean, I've already DONE everything and I haven't been doing a lot of robbing, it's a LOT of fun when you first begin the situation, after.. Just It's fun." He shrugs a bit. "I'm sorry I asked, I'd get it if you don--"

"We can rob a bank?"

He pauses, then staring at me. "...Really?"

I nod a bit. "It was fun last time, yeah, but we should go for the one with the most security."

He smiles a bit more. "I know a bank..."

"Great, we should start making plans." I reach up and fuck up his perfectly done hair, in which I can tell he absolutely fuckin' hated me when I did that, but apparently I'm likable to him? Eh.

I stand up as I do this. "I'm gonna head to my bedroom, come talk to me when you have the layout of the place."

"Already do."

"What?" I turn around and there's a layout on the table, the whole perfect layout, and Wilford's hair is back to it's perfect look. "BOI." I reach over and fuck it up again before walking over and sitting back down beside him.

He grumbles angrily reaching up and fixing it back into place.

"How even?"

"I know things." He says, and he pulls out a pen, and reaches over, circling the corners of the rooms, and some places. "These are where the cameras are." He says, and continues with the planning.

"We're doing this tomorrow right?" I ask, and he looks at me. 

"Well, Whenever you're ready to."

"Alright, 'cause I've got to sell something today. Thank you for getting the blueprints though." I say, hating how much I've grown to like this guy.

"...Like drugs? You need me to tag along?"

"I don't have anyone to worry about now Wil. Andy's gone, and Henry's a weak prick, and Chris.. I don't know what happened to him." I say, and I stand up. "I'll be upstairs, I'll head to sell em' in about seven more hours, you'll be done with work." I say, and I mess up his hair walking past him, and back to the stairs.

I head towards my bedroom, and I go inside to do what I usually do, normal human things, I may be a criminal but I'm still human. 

So I just kinda. Do things. With my phone.. Yeah.